It Was Raining
by blood splatter queen
Summary: ((ZoSan fan fiction!)) A short modern story of how they met in the rain.
1. Part: 1

The emptiness of his ten by ten foot room surrounded him. No more bed in the back left corner to sleep on, no more pictures taped without frames on the wall to peek at, no more indigo curtains to flutter with the wind; but most importantly, no more lavender blue textured ceiling to stare up at in the loneliest parts of dusk. Now, his once beloved search for Freedom's happiness - something that was always a foot above his head - was nothing more than a mirror resembling the overcast outside as it had been repainted the same lonely white.

The shaggy white carpet compressed under his dress shoes matched its suffocating walls. His room was just an empty shell of what it once was. Nothing but indents in the carpet from his bed frame, bresser, and desk were left to show that this space wasn't always this friendless. Even the small blood stains on the white carpet in front of the closet had been scrubbed vacant, his nose stinging from its chemical cleaner assailant.

Running his hands through his disheveled blond locks, he held his breath, clenched his eyes, and strangled his roots with a shaky grip. He could see the bulky man standing in front of a slender boy - scolding him for messing around in his kitchen without supervision. He watched the man read the boy a book about the deep sea before tucking in his sleeping figure and turning out the light. He observed as the man held the shaking figure of the boy - hidden away under a fort of pillows and blankets with a small lantern as their only source of light - to protect him from the booming lightning and thunder outside. He could see him.

"Sanji?" There was a knock on the open white door right after.

He's burning lunges finally filled as puffy and irritated eyes opening again. He lowered his hands back to his sides as he turned around, not meeting the gaze of the female officer peering at him in the threshold of his loneliness.

Head hanging low, he didn't have to speak when the gentle officer hummed at his depressed state and her boots thumped towards him. Placing her palms on his cheeks, she lifted his face to see his downcast blue eyes were leaking tears of sorrow down his reddened cheeks, his curled eyebrows twitching as he bit back a sob.

"Oh, Sanji." She was quick to embrace him and he found his own arms snaking around her back and holding her close. She was a few inches shorter than him, making easy access to hide his face in her shoulder as a few silent sobs fell from quivering lips and a heaving chest. They held each other for a few minutes, Sanji's hand gripping the coat of her pristine navy blue uniform as she ran her hands up and down his spine in soothing intervals.

As his sobs came to a hush, Sanji was pushed back arms length to be met face to face with Tashigi. Her skin was light with dark freckles lining her cheeks and nose, her hair dark blue and pulled into a tight bun, eyes a mournful dark drown. Her hands found their way to his cheeks again and she smiled softly at him as she wiped away the lingering tears.

"Can't let Zef see you in such a slump." Her hands ran through his long bangs, smoothing the hair down and to the side, tucking it behind his ear.

"Yeah," Sanji sniffled, "He'd be pissed to see I'm getting snot all over my work suit."

Tashigi straighten the wrinkles from the front of his black coat, fixing the yellow pinned rose straight, "I'm sure the rain can help wash it away."

He stayed quiet, just now hearing the pitter patter of the heavy precipitation on the roof of the one story house he grew up in. The house he'll never return to after today.

"Besides," Tashigi took his arm in hers as she started leading him out of the small room, "People won't be able to tell you're crying if you're standing in the rain."

Sanji gave a dry chuckle, "You just want to get rid of me faster. Ship me off to the closest foster home once the funeral is over. That's fine, I didn't want to live in your shitty flat anymore, anyways." Tashigi stopped and glared up at him, he could see the glimmer of hurt shock that swept across her dark eyes. He felt his heart drop to his stomach and his lunges hurn with the next inhale. "Tashigi. I… I didn't mean it."

"I understand Sanji," he could hear her take a shaky breath of her own, "You're hurting. Lashing out is only natural."

"I'm really sorry."

"We should get going, we're running late as is."

"I even liked Smoky."

Tashigi smiled at the nickname Sanji had given her patrol partner over the month he lived with them until this day. Her partner's name was actually John Smoker. Being issued with only one cruiser, Smoker lived with Tashigi, tired of having to drive to one another's houses all the time to pick each other up for work. Sanji and Smoker didn't see eye to eye all the time, they fought about everything, especially who's turn it was to take the couch since it was just a two room apartment.

"Speaking of, he's waiting for us."

"Alright. Alright. I get it. Let's go to the shitty old man's funeral."

At the wake, Zef's co-workers and old navy acquaintances were there to see his dark mahogany casket lowered into the earth. All wearing a yellow rose pinned to their chest to represent a group grieving over a loss of a loved one together. To Sanji, he couldn't help but take note that Zef wrote this specifically in his Will, and that they held an uncanny resemblance to his hair. He refuses to believe Tashigi's theory that Zef made this so because he wanted his depressed son to not feel quite as alone as he already did before he died of cancer.

Under umbrellas, speeches were made, chuckles and tears alike were shared with stories, flowers representing innocents, life, and purification were placed one by one as the cannons were fired. That wasn't apart of Zef's Will, but his navy buddy's insisted on a proper send off for their once head chef on the front battleship.

Sanji stayed quiet, holding Tashigi's hand throughout the service - only giving a few sniffles and tears to not show his co-workers how much this actually shreds him to pieces from the inside out. He often found himself gripping at his shirt over his tight chest to stop his aching heart, to check if the damned thing was still beating or if this pain was from finally being flushed out entirely and faded of all happiness to only be left with depression and despair. As much at it hurt, he also felt hollow and drained. He wanted to jump into the long rectangle in the ground and disappear. He wanted to just lay down where her stood and stare up at the sky, maybe cry with it and crawl into the depths of his mind so no one could resurface him.

Through the last past month, Tashigi was able to keep Sanji's depression at bay, but despite holding the officer's hand and standing beside her through all of this, he couldn't help but feel as though a huge tidal wave had just come crashing down on him, smothering his lunges, battering his bones, bruising his flesh, crushing his soul. He already had a hard enough time getting out of bed while Zef was in the hospital, nowadays he was terrified of consuming sleeping pills just in case he'd take one and not be able to talk himself out of taking another, then another, then another, then another, eventually downing the whole bottle and not caring about the consequences of never waking up.

"Sanji?"

The blond blinked from his thoughts, not realizing he had been staring at the now lowered and buried Zef in the soft soil. He glanced up and around, just then realizing that he and Tashigi were the only ones left to leave when his eye finally landed on the old priest guiding the service.

His hand extended out to him, the priest looked to Sanji expectantly, "Would you like to say a few words, son?"

Sanji felt his muscles grow stiff, his hands clenching into fists as his heart suddenly took off hard against his chest again. "I...I-" It felt like he was being choked by his black tie, unable to let out any air to speak - let alone any in to breathe.

"I…" He could feel just how damp and frizzy his hair was as a droplet of rain rolling down his cheek, or was that a tear? Sweat maybe? He couldn't tell any more.

He raised his hand to his throat and hooked his finger around the knot of the tie, trying to loosen it. "W-Well, um, I-I…"

Instead of loosening, the silk was tightening. His stammering words turned to nothing but incoherent garble as he started wheezing.

"Oh my god. Are you okay, Sanji?" Tashigi was holding him by the shoulders now, trying to look him in the eyes, but it was hard to see around the black spot forming in his vision, it was hard to feel or hear anything over his hammering heart and inflamed lunges.

"I think the kid's gonna faint."

"Call an ambulance!"

Sanji didn't know how he got on the ground but he found his back against mushy grass and his entire being shook and staring up at the raining sky just how me wanted, but he was finding it hard to enjoy with his current panicked state of mind as everything came crashing in all at once.

"Hey, is everything alright over here?"

His head was pounding.

"Please help us!"

He couldn't hear, but he could barely make out someone touching the inside of his neck, just under his jaw with the slightest of pressures.

"He didn't eat anything he's allergic to?"

"He's not allergic to anything."

"Shit."

"What? What is it?"

"His having a panic attack."

"How do you know?"

"I had a little sister who experienced them all the time."

"So you know what to do?"

Sanji could feel someone grabbing the collar of his drenched shirt, hands far bigger than Tashigi's. He shaking was growing worse, his face hot despite the freezing rain.

"I'm going to sit him up and try to get his breathing under control. You call for an ambulance."

"I already did," the priest chimed in, "They're stuck in heavy traffic."

"Then find something dry to cover him with."

Sanji could feel himself being heaved up, his head not having enough time to snap his own neck before he hedbutted something hard, something that wasn't the soft flesh of Tashigi. He could feel arms wrapping around his back as he sat in some guy's lap. His long legs bent around the guy's back, arms still convulsing at his sides, but his airway opened significantly in a matter of seconds.

"Is he shaking because of the attack?" He could hear the priest behind him just louder than his wheezing. Tashigi must be getting something dry as the guy hold him instructed.

"That and he's freezing to the touch. Was the idiot standing in the rain on purpose or something?"

He could feel one of the guy's hands slip between their chests, could feel him opening his coat before unbuttoning his dress shirt. Sanji couldn't move, couldn't speak, could barely comprehend what they were saying and what the guy was doing until he felt his icy chest collide against the stranger's wram one. He must have unzipped his sweatshirt while Sanji was trying to focus on breathing more clearly.

Almost immediately, Sanji's tight chest began to loosen from the transferring heat and he found his rigid body melting into the stranger's warmth.

"Shit, you're freezing Curly Brow - er, sorry Father."

"I'm heard much worse from younger residences, son."

Sanji took a moment to process the words, his breathing no longer hissing Death's name, but still heavily labored. His head pounded with the realization that the stranger just called him something insulting.

Opening his heavy eyes, Sanji saw nothing but short tufts of green hair and took in a shaky breath, "Wh...Who you callin'... C-Curly Brow? S… Stupid, Mar-Marimo."

Sanji could feel Marimo's stomach muscles tense as he laughed, could fully make out how rough his voice really was. "Just rest, Blondie and focus on your breathing. After a big attack like that, I'm surprised you're not sleeping."

Sanji didn't bother with another insult as the Marimo just did, instead he did as told and just sat there against the guy's warm chest. As he sat there, Sanji came to realize just how hard of a hit he too just then. He was so exhausted he couldn't move a single muscle - or will it to stop shaking on its own.

"I found a blanket," he could hear Tashigi smooshing the grass behind him as she approached.

"Put it on him."

He could feel the blanket being draped over his shoulders when the stranger moved his arms to be hugging the blanket to Sanji's back. Finally, he had stopped shaking and he could breath normally again.

Eyes closed from exhaustion, he could hear the grass smooshing as Tashigi walked around and hear the priest calling the ambulance to call it off.

"Are you feeling better Sanji?" Tashigi asked.

"I'm tired," Sanji muttered back and caught himself before he could nuzzle his face into the stranger's shoulder.

He could feel the stranger's muscles again as he laughed, "That's to be expected."

"No one asked you."

"Sanji, don't be rude," Tashigi gaped, "This young man helped you. Say thank you."

"Ah, no need. I did kinda crash your funeral. Sorry about that."

Sanji suddenly realized he was snuggling chest to chest with a stranger in front of Zef's grave. He could feel the embarrassed blush on his cheeks, he just knew he was laughing up a storm in heaven.

"I'm Zoro, by the way. It was nice to meet you _Sanji._ "

He didn't know why, maybe it was just the very odd circumstances and being forced to sit in this guys lap that made his face grow hotter when he said his name.

He was about to reply with a snide remark about how perverted he was or call him Marimo again, but then something else dawned on him: Right now, in this very moment, with only this Marimo stranger, he didn't feel hollow. He didn't feel the urge to disappear, or curl into a ball and scream, or see how long he can stay afloat in his own mind. Sure, depression still lingered but it was suddenly low tide with Zoro here, he felt the urge to explore Life's tide pools again…

Slowly lifting his numb arms, Sanji hugged the stranger closer, "Thank you, Stupid Marimo."

Hi reader!

I need some advise!

So I wrote this and I have a lot of ideas for a longer story but I don't know if it'll just be better as a one shot or if I should continue.

Tell me what you think, if you liked or hated it or whatever.

Thank you for reading!

~B.S. Queen


	2. Part: 2

The dark water flooded in faster than Sanji though when Zoro left. Life's generous tide pools disappearing under its swelling depths when he found his soul stuck in between the jagged rocks below. It was already passed the bounds of "Too Late" to surface for air as the water continued to rise twenty, thirty feet above his head - the idea of some day finding Freedom's happiness long gone as he swayed with the current, just watching the waves of tempting Death above him and the beauty of Life below him.

His heart swelling within his hollow chest as the water was.

His head pounding within his numb mind as his being was.

Life was so unfair. First, it gives souls Freedom's love, innocents, and happiness - only then to rip it from their grasp, and drown them in Death's frigid waters of sorrow, hardship, and loneliness; but it doesn't stop there, after the soul has experience true happiness and sadness, true love and ripped pieces, Life only accepts a selected few into its loving embrace.

Somehow, Sanji had by passed Freedom all together, his tiny soul immediately met Melancholy - Death's roommate - and stayed in their home for a while. They both came and went, sometimes Happiness stopped by for a visit, but it never stayed long.

When he first met Zef, he thought everything was going to be alright. He thought Life had finally let him in, but Life was a trickster and Death was only doing its job. At least Death was gentle with his broken soul, giving him a warning before Life through him for a cancerous loop.

"Does your chest still hurt?"

Sanji looked over, meeting Tashigi's gaze before he watched them shift to the road. He thought about her words for a moment, thinking back on his explanation of the pain he went through at the funeral. Did he tell Tashigi his chest was tight then? He can't remember.

He breathed in, trying to stretch out his ribs as much as the passenger seat would allow. A dull ache is all that remained of his panic attack. Nothing to be concerned about. "No."

"You're doing it again."

He looked down at his legs, uncertain of what Tashigi meant when he saw his hand gripping the cloth over his heart. "Oh," was all he said as he let go, smoothed out his shirt, and intertwined his hands together on his lap.

"You know, we don't have to do this today."

"My stuff's already moved."

"I know, but with everything that just happened-"

"I'm fine, really."

The cruiser crawled next to the sidewalk before stopping with screeching wet brakes. He was hesitant to glance out the window, as if looking up at the large mansion they parked in front of was going to seal his fate with Death.

Seconds passed in silence and he suddenly couldn't resist - if Death awaited his presenting inside his castle, then so be it. He'll welcome it with a stern handshake and an "I thought we would've met sooner"; but he was surprised to find a colorful, misshapen, estate. Its initial shape is a block letter C, the two edges of the building poking out as if something with a higher power cut out a gaping hole from the middle as if it were a cake. The edges only possessed one window, leaving the middle with four going across and three going down. Toys littered the large front lawn in between the two edges with a path leading to the front door in the very middle of the structure. It was three stories of personality with painted curtains, broken windows, and even a long clothing line connecting one edge window to the other. It was _not_ the dark, glooming fog hidden castle of Death that certainly clouded his most recent thoughts.

Despite the graffiti sprayed all over the building, huge letters spelling out "THE FRANKY FAMILY" is what really caught Sanji's attention, making him gape up in shock.

"This can't be right," Sanji muttered, blue eyes still ensnared in its messy appearance. The more he looked, the more character he found. For once, his heart pulsed with intimidation instead of pain and anguish.

He hadn't realized his hand was back over his heart until Tashigi took it and made him break his gaze from the indescribable.

"His name is Cutty Flam, but his kids call him Franky."

"He seriously runs the orphanage here?"

"Frank takes in trauma kids and teaches them to express how they're feeling any time they like by adding to, painting on, and even destroying his mansion. He's a very supportive man to his kids and acknowledges their pain every day. To say it makes them feel appreciated and special is an understatement."

"That's great, Tashigi, but why am I here? I'm not a trauma patient."

"Sanji," Tashigi looked at him with sorrow filled eyes. Her hand gripping his tighter, "I've never seen you actually smile since I met you when Zef first brought you home. Because of the car accident so long ago, you are a trauma patient-"

"That's enough. You can shut up now."

He ripped his hand from the officer's and forced open the car door, getting out immediately. His hand was over his chest, trying to dull the ache growing stronger within his hollow soul. Why was he this way? Why can't the damn thing just stop beating already and stop causing him so much misery?

"Sanji, wait!" He could hear Tashigi's car door slam closed before slender arms wrapped around his waist, squeezing tight. "C-Call often, okay? You remember my number right."

He could feel her shaking frame pressed against his back, trying her best to hold back a sob. He sighed and turned around to properly hug the officer.

"9-1-1."

Tashigi shook with her laugh, her composure slipping as a tear did down her face. "You smart ass."

It was quiet as they hugged, the rain long since gone while they drove out of Germa City and into Seven Spout. The sun warming his skin but the heat wasn't strong enough to break through his heart's icy walls. He found himself yearning to cover his heart again, feeling yet another part get torn off and thrown away as realization dawned on him: This is the last time he will be able to see Tashigi since her unit doesn't stretch out into Seven Spout. Once she walks away, he'll be entirely alone.

A call over the radio screeched as it spouting off numbers and codes Sanji didn't understand before it signed off and all was quiet again. He could feel Tashigi starting to let go, but he held on tighter as if she was his life preserver in an ocean he was already drowning in. Her constant comfort was the only thing keeping him from inhaling the darkness, if he lets go, who knows what is bound to happen.

"I have to go now."

"Please take me with you."

"Sanji, you know I would if I could but I can't. There's just not enough space-"

"Then buy a bigger house, I'll help you pay for it."

Tashigi was silent but he could still feel her shaking frame against his chest, or was that his? She wasn't holding him anymore, his life preserver lingering further away from him, just out of reach. She was hiding something, perhaps biting back tears and trying to think of a way to tell Franky that Sanji was coming back hom-

"I don't want you to live with us anymore Sanji."

His heart is shattered, its splintered pieces stabbing his chest from within. His entire being grew heavy as more water compressed him into the sea floor. After Zef's death, he thought nothing could get worse; but to be deceived and shoved away by Tashigi - a kind and big sister type to everyone - he didn't know if he wanted to cry, scream, run away, or all of the above.

His arms fell lax to his sides, whatever light he had lift in his eyes was nowhere in sight - the ocean floor was too dark. "Oh," his voice was empty, "I see."

It didn't matter to him as to why Tashigi was crying, she wasn't the one drowning but the one watching without any concern. Her month of kindness was a lie. Everything she said was a lie. About how she'll miss him, and how she expects calls from him as if she cares. She really can't stand him any longer, can she? Can't look at him either.

He jerked away from her gentle touch as if it caused him physical pain to be held by her ever again and turned towards the mansion, stalking forward with long strides. His hand back over his tightening chest but he didn't notice as his long strides turned into a sprint - no longer directing him towards the front door but towards the cliff behind the massive building where he could hear the sea calling for him. He could've sworn he could hear it promising a pain he could actually put into words, a darkness that only he yearned to company. Zef had taught his about the sea, about how beautiful and passionate and gracious it was - maybe the sea will finally grant what Sanji needed more than anything else right now. Not a warm embrace, not a comforting shoulder, not a concerned friend - he needed a fucking break from Life's bull shit.

Stop the taunting!

Life, please have mercy on his brittle soul!

Death, please bring him the eternal sleep he so desperately yearns for!

Oh Gods, please stop this pain, he can't take it any longer!

Yards turned to feet as he continued his run, but it was as if he was blind - numb - to the side of his brain that ringed danger. He wanted danger, he wanted to feel his heart rase, to feel his being shaking, to piss his fucking pants in fear; but all his heart could do was swell, and ache, and cause pain. It was broken, his mind was broken, he was broken.

Feet turned to inches, just one more step. One more step and his miserable life will be over. He was broken; but ready.

Without warning, something solid intersected his next nonexistent step into the sea, throwing him to the side before landing heavy on his chest - the air compressed from his lunges in a wheeze of mixed shock and pain. The object on top of him moved, allowing air to filter through again, but only to pin his struggling form to the overgrown greenery.

He glared up at the objected, tears pricking his eyes from the harsh treatment, and was able to make out a large man with ice blue hair, a palm tree printed unbuttoned shirt with nothing but bare skin underneath, and nothing but a dark blue spido to cover below the waist. His skin was nicely tanned as well; but Sanji couldn't care less about any of that.

"Get the hell off me!"

"So you're our new D-n-S," the man sitting on Sanji hummed to himself as he held Sanji's wrists with one giant hand and lifted his sunglasses to reveal light blue - almost grey - irises staring into his own ocean toned ones.

Overwhelmed, Sanji spat at the strange man, "Who the fuck are you?! And where the fucking hell are your fucking pants, you pervert! Get off me!"

"Well," the man chuckled, "You didn't really give me much time."

"Save yourself the trouble and just let me die!"

"You don't really mean that, D-n-S. Just chill for a moment-"

"Just _chill_? I want to die, what don't you understand?!"

Sanji's head whipped to the left so fast, his neck popped, and it took him a moment to feel his cheek stinging with licking flames. His gloden banges fanning over the grass and his face, his mouth twisted into pure surprise complemented by wide eyes. Slowly, his head turned to look at the man again only to see a frown etched into his once calm features.

"I acknowledge your pain - I've seen it in so many of my kid's eyes when they first arrive - but I'll be super damned if I let it take your life while you're under my care."

Sanji could do nothing but feel the pain in his chest worsen as tears leaked from his eyes. He needed to stop listening, he needed to get him to shut up before he can start to believe in his lies too. He can't take it, but he also can't find it within himself to say anything, or look away.

The man continued, "I accept who you are - even if you are nothing more than pieces. You are apart of the Franky Family from today onwards; but fair warning D-n-S, I have a knack for fixing broken things."

"B-Bull shit," Sanji's voice was quieter, scared of the small glimmer of hope blossoming in his soul, and though microscopic, it was still very poisonous.

"I never lie to my kids."

 _Don't do this._

"And as long as you're under my roof, you will find happiness."

 _Don't feed it unhealthy lies._

"You will be cherished."

 _Please stop. Please stop._

"And you will be loved."

Sanji stared up at the man, uncertain on how to feel. For a few seconds, he felt like he could trust this man, like he could finally breathe; but he quickly shut those thoughts down and stomped on Hope's beautiful yet fragile - very delicate - flower before its roots could embed themselves into his soul only to be plucked at a later and certainly more agonizing date. He needed to get away before this man could plant another seed, perhaps one so deep he won't be able to dig it out next time.

"I'm tired."

The man chuckled, "I bet, Tashigi told me you had quite the day. I'm sorry to hear about your old man, by the way."

Sanji glanced over to where Tashigi's car once stalled in park only to realize she didn't care enough to stay and watched this odd exchange between the two men. She really didn't care. Not one bit.

"He wasn't my real father."

Helping Sanji stand, the man nodded, accompanied by a sighed, "I read your file."

Not the least bit interested, Sanji shoved his hands in his pockets and walked beside the man towards the mansion. "I want to sleep for a little bit."

Sanji caught the man's stare from the corner of his eye before they shifted back to the grass below. "That's fine. Just be down by dinner, you'll meet the others there too."

"Others? I don't even know who you are."

"I knew I was forgetting something!"

"But not your pants."

"Everyone calls me Franky in this house, as you can see from the super sign on top this super mansion I built, so feel free to join."

Sanji thought for a moment, knowing Cutty Flam was his actual name, he couldn't help but wonder how someone would get _Franky_ from the mix.

Walking up to the front door of the mansion, Sanji couldn't help but stare at the odd graffiti art spray painted over dark mahogany. It's colors consisting of white, black, yellow, and red, all constructing what looked like a skull and crossbones wearing a straw hat.

Sanji pointed at it, earning a laugh from Franky. "Oh that? You see, since Seven Spout is in such a big city, there are gangs that use old eighteen hundred Jolly Roger designs to mark their territory. If you see a building with this specific skull and crossbones, you're in safe hands."

"There are gangs here?"

"Too many to count, but lucky for you, The Franky Family is protected by one of the strongest: The Straw Hat Gang."

"You're not afraid of them?"

Franky looked shocked for a moment before laughter rung loudly in Sanj's ears, "Half of the gang members are my stupid kids."

Sanji could only stare at Franky as he opened the door, splitting the image perfectly in half and stepping inside. Inviting him in, Sanji followed after Franky and after walking through the massive threshold Franky crossed his arms and looked to the blond, "So you gonna tell me your name, or am I just gonna call you D-n-S from now on?"

So, I desided to make this into a full blown story cause I just can't get it out of my head now. I hope you enjoy!


	3. Part: 3

His room was large - much larger than his ten by ten childhood sanctuary - that contained high ceilings, an empty bookshelf extending to that ceiling against the wall the entering door was on, a small six by six foot loft connected to the corner of the front and bookshelf walls (seven feet above the ground and seven feet from touching the ceiling), with dozens of boxes and furniture littering the floor, but the most astonishing feature was the entirely glass back wall. Natural light flooding through the curtainless room, the cloudless bright sky reflected on rocks, and sand, and waves below blinded Sanji with its welcoming warmth.

He could do nothing but stare from the threshold and through the glass at the ocean - it was as if he was in a trance, hypnotized by the waves in a numb daze. He could hear the ocean, could hear the sirens call for his presence - beckoning him to join then in the crashing waves. He could see the clear water breaking against jagged rocks, foam gathering on the small beach below in curvy lines only to get pushed further back as the tide rushed in and out in a continuous loop.

He could see a young boy holding the bulky man's hand as they walked along the shore shortly before spiralling out a blanket and sitting down to eat lunch - the young boy excited to greet the tide as he talked through mouthfuls of food. The bulky man doing nothing but smiling at the young boy...

But as he stared and let his mind drift with the floating wood, the boy and the man faded and he could see Death having a picknick with Melancholy on the shore where they once were.

He felt his blood run cold as his heart spiked and hammered within his chest, the old childhood memory now tainted with Misery's dark masterpiece, and he turned away from the sight. Why can't they just leave him alone?

Looking up to Franky - who had been standing behind him the entire time - he nodded, "Thanks for the tour."

Franky gave a hefty laugh, his gravelly voice ringing in Sanji's ears. "Isn't the view super? Just watching the calming waves crash against the shore will help you cope with your depression."

Sanji fidgeted with his hands, picking at his short nails, as he walked out of the room without turning back, "I'll need to put up drapes."

"Or that," Franky shrugged.

Sanji knew he could sense something wrong with him, any trauma specialist would be able to sniff out his obvious discomfort a mile away, but he didn't commented further.

Stepping out of the room," "I'll let you get some sleep then-" Sanji flinched away from Franky's hand.

"I'd like to take a shower first." Anything to delay going back in there.

He could feel Franky's stare on his face, a cool sweat beading on his brow, and avoided eye contact. "Alright," Franky blurted after seconds of silence, "I'll put up some blinds while you're at it."

Sanji nodded before walking further down the hall and turned into the bathroom before locking the door behind him. He sighed as he leaned his back against the door, his head slumped back as well, and closed his eyes. He caught his hand gripping the front of his shirt again but he didn't bother with removing it as he focuses solely on calming his pounding heart.

 _These hands_ , he thought, _they are creators of joy_.

He gripped his swelling chest tighter as he tried to recall all the smiling faces he's served at the Baratie, all the meals he's made and created with the old man; but all that surfaced was the _-BOOM!-_ and - _CRASH!-_ from the thunder and lightning, and his two hands pulling the steering wheel…

"Hey!"

Sanji's eyes shot open, chest heaving, heart pounding, he found himself pulled from his horrid memories and still leaning against the bathroom door. His legs were shaking, sweat rolling down the back of his neck, and his pants wet. He looked down, instantly mortified at the sight of himself pissing his own pants.

Quickly removing his phone from his dampening pocket, he muttered a curse before yelling through the door, "What do you want?"

"The blinds are up," replied Franky.

"Yeah, okay." Sanji rushed to step inside the shower tub before any of the urine could leak onto the marble floor. He stripped quickly and started the shower before Franky had the chance to say anything else.

Head under the warm shower faucet, Sanji let the water run down his face to drip off his nose, chin, and eyelashes as he stared at his feet. "Where did that come from?"

Ever since he could remember, he's always been afraid of thunder and lightning. Zef knew this especially well - he was always there to comfort him under a quickly constructed pillow fort in his room. A camping lamp always enlightening the darkest shadows with a pleasant honey toned glow, and Zef's calming voice reading a book about the sea as they sat and waited out the storm seemed to be the only thing keeping him together in those times.

But Zef was gone now, and left a terrifying storm for Sanji to bare alone.

He's always been afraid of thunder and lightning but the cause of his fear was never explained or questioned, just like how his biological parents and siblings died in a car crash, so why is he questioning if the two are linked somehow now? Why the hell did that memory - if he could even call that horrible daytime nightmare a memory - pop up now?

Feeling the water grow cooler against his hot skin, he ran his hands through his sopping hair and sighed, "What the hell is wrong with me?"

He washed quickly after that, not one to waist clean water, and stepped out with the disappointing realization that the only pair of clothes he had brought in with him were the urine soaked pants and wrinkled button up.

Sighing, he wrapped his towel around his waist, picked up his clothes and phone before unlocking the bathroom door; but before he could step out, he heard another door slam open down stairs, and he froze upon hearing unfamiliar laughter flooding the once empty space.

"Franky, we're back!"

"Super! Right on time to help me with dinner," Franky replied and before Sanji knew it, he was running down the hall - his bare feet patting against the cool dark wood - and slammed the door to his large room shut.

He locked it, flicked on the lights and turned around to dodged boxes before shutting the newly installed blinds too. The room was fairly darker now but at least he won't be blinded by the misunderstanding sky and tempted to rejoin his old roommates on the sand.

It's not as if he was afraid of meeting knew people - in fact, he used to love greeting new faces at the Baratie, especially if they were pretty women - but with his current mindset, meeting new people was as dangerous as a tsunami.

Depression - his best friend and worst influent - could be seen in every dark corner he peered in, it's inky tar dripping malice and sorrow in gaping wounds. It was as if they were in a continuous game of Hide-n-Seek with Sanji as the seeker and Depression as the hider. It was terrible at hiding and Sanji new exactly where it was. Because of this, he was afraid to look in the mirror, but it wasn't only himself he could spot it in anymore, he could see it in everyone's eyes nowadays - Depression's bottomless nebula - making him timid towards others.

He has enough sadness crammed in his suitcase, he doesn't have room for anyone else's.

"Did the new D-n-S show up today?"

He could hear their muffled voices through the conjoined air vents, echoing quietly in his stiff room. Franky had described to him what a D-n-S was on the tour, a child who's Depressed-n'-Suicidal. He hates the term, but he can't deny it either - the blue haired giant did witness him trying to kill himself first hand.

"Yeah. His name's Sanji." Frank replied, "Super chill, but there's obviously some broken and missing pieces, if you catch my drift."

Sanji groaned, "Gee, thanks," and made his way over to his two suitcases full of clothes. Unzipping the largest of the two, he opened it to find his ear buds poking out of his sweatpants pocket - exactly where he left them. Slipping on a pair of underwear and the light grey sweatpants, he dug out his earbuds and detangled then before plugging them into his phone.

"Hey, didn't Roanoa say he met someone named-"

He put in his earbuds and played his music, cutting out the voices entirely. Not bothering with a shirt, he started to unpack. He dragged his suitcases across the room to where his dark dresser stood awkwardly in the middle of the floor and rearranged his clothes inside before shoving it against the right side wall. Putting his empty suitcases inside the closet, he walked over to a different box labeled "BEDDING". Looking around the room, he quickly found his mattress standing and leaning against the far corner. Clearing the way of all boxes, Sanji pushed his mattress down, not hearing the - _thump_ \- it made as it hit the floor and didn't bother with moving it as he made his bed. He can shuffle it around the room latter after all these boxes are unpacked.

As Sanji shuffled around his room, unpacking box after box, he would often break out into song and sing with the souris. It didn't matter the type of music, if he was feeling the chorus, he would belt out in short intervals. It definitely kept his mind from harsher times and in the present. While he unpacked and sang, never once did he think about the world around him, only his task at hand, that was such a refreshing feeling. To think about something else other than how hard getting out of bed will be tomorrow, he was slowly growing comfortable in his own skin again.

That's until he found a box of old photos.

His singing was cut short, the air caught in his lungs, and his heart started to swell again. He grew deaf to the blaring music in his ears as he sunk to the floor beside the box. He knew he couldn't look, that it was too soon to remember happy times, but it was as if Temptation was gripping the back of his head and shoving his face forward - guiding his hands into the box and pushing the photos into his shaking palms. It's sticky skin gluing the photos to his fingers, gluing his eyes to the black and white pictures. He couldn't look away, and though he needed to, he didn't want to either.

As he shuffled through them, one by one, he found his smiling face in every single one of them in every age since he went into Zef's care. Zef was the one taking the photos of the smiling boy but he was in some as well.

Together, they flew kites, cooked in the kitchen, read cook books, did science fair experiments, went camping, built pillow forts, went swimming, hugged good bye of the first day of school, pulled his first tooth, tailored his first suit, first kickboxing lesson, and so many more. But the last photo he gambled did not have Happiness waving in the background. The last photo consisted of Sanji sitting beside Zef on his hospital bed, both men smiling despite Sanji's puffy eyes and Zef's despair filled ones. Happiness was nowhere in sight in the background of this photo, instead, Death was leaning against the corner and checking the time.

No chorus could lift Sanji's mood as he glared at the Get Well Soon balloons above the bed side table in the photo. What a fool he had been to bring those. He knew Zef's cancer was too much for the old man to pull though. What stupid hope Sanji had. Just what type of future did he see when he bought those damned balloons?

His hand over his heart again - scratching at his pale skin - Sanji did his best to stop the tears from falling; but how stupid he was to bring such a terrible thing to a man on his deathbed. What a horrible false hope icon he brought to his guardian.

How could his final goodbye be those fucking balloons?

Sniffling, Sanji threw the photos away from him - scattering his memories across the barren room - and kicked the box against the bookshelf wall. He yanked his headphones out, strangled his roots with both fists, and paced his room. Tears trailing down his flushed face, he couldn't tell if he was pissed or depressed or both. His chest was awfully tight, head pounding, heart hammering, lungs burning - he knew he needed to calm down once he found himself shaking; but how the fuck can he do that?

What even is calm anymore?

He kicked his pillow off his bed.

What even is happiness anymore?

He ransacked his folded clothes from his bresser and threw them on the floor.

What even is life anymore?

He pulled cookbooks from the bookshelf.

And what the hell is so important anymore to keep himself alive?

He ripped the drapes from the tall ceiling, exposing himself to pitch black sky. Glared at Death on the beach staring up at him and screaming down to it.

"JUST KILL ME ALREADY!" Hot salty tears ran down his face as he putched the glass. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!"

His shaking frame sunk to the floor in a breathless heap, but he soon found himself curled into a sobbing ball on his side.

He could breath, he didn't want to breath anymore.

He couldn't stop the aching in his heart, he didn't want it to stop anymore.

" _I'm Zoro, by the way. It was nice to meet you,_ Sanji _."_

He blinked as his chest heaved, tear steaming across the bridge of his nose to brip down his hair. He sniffled, remembering the stupid look on the guy's face when he finally let his stand on his own. That stupid smile.

Wiping his tears, he willed himself to stop scratching at his chest to rip out his own heart and instead held himself together, trying to remember the guys warmth against his cold.

Sniffling, Sanji chuckled and buried his face in his shivering knees, "S-Shut up, stupid Marimo."


	4. Part: 4

He found himself not curled into the cold puddle of tears he cried himself to sleep with, but in his warm sheets facing the exposed glass wall. His eyes not only stung with puffy irritation but from the blinding morning overcast.

The low tide grey - reflecting the atmosphere above as fog treated the water's surface, hiding Life's tidepools as Death took a short intermission from the bright morning.

Seagulls appeared black in the sky above, driftwood like sharks in the currents below; Sanji couldn't help becoming mesmerized again, but for an entirely different reason this time. Life's tide pools still could not be seen as Death lingered dangerously near, and he was the fog this peaceful morning. He was the gray area within his heart, able to sense both of the powerful entities - both within reach if he truly tried - but in this very moment, both took a break from their previous torments. Perhaps Death had heard him last night and mulled over his wishes, perhaps it had spoken to Life and consulted new arrangements. Perhaps Life vouched not to give up on Sanji just yet - there may be more games to play, after all. If they were to grant him his wish just yet, where would the fun be in that? Perhaps temporary tranquility is what they settled upon.

Or maybe, Sanji thought, I just needed some sleep.

He sat up, a subtle light headedness washing over him as his stomach give a low rumble to cue their own "Low Food Supply" warning. As his hand combed back his tangled locks, he sucked in a deep sigh and ignored his stomach - it's voice for food was not yet painful, his head's slight dizziness was not yet disorienting - he could go a day without eating. Or has it been a few? He can't remember, his mind is hazy but it's nothing water can't cure.

Tearing his gaze away from the sea once again, he glanced around his room. He vaguely remembered trashing the place - throwing books, clumping clothes, bending photos - but he found barely any trace evidence of the night before. If it weren't for the disorganized bookshelf, half sut drawers stuffed with clothes, and the smoothed, newly boxed photographs on the shelf he'd think he was merely hallucinating the events of the previous night - sadly, his OCD for neatness never failed him even through his depression. He quickly concluded Franky was the one to lay him in bed and attempt to fix his room after more than likely herding his shouting.

He undoubtedly scared the shit out of him and the others residing here; but something ticked inside him - something that made him forget his thoughts by sending all his nerve endings ablaze - and he couldn't restrain himself from standing and reorganizing his room to his specific liking once again. The fire only seemed to die after everything was fixed and in proper order an hour later - if only stopping his heart was as easy.

Still dressed in only his light gray sweatpants, Sanji stood in the middle of the room holding a white phone charger looking for the black rectangle. His iPhone is an older model and isn't good with keeping a high percentage after a day of use, only, it seemed to be nowhere in sight when it gave a small buzz to signal its low battery. Lifting the sheets from his mattress, he found it at one percent before plugging it into the closest socket. He checked his notifications out of impulse only to find nothing. No calls, no texts, not even annoying Apple updates. Apart of him hoped there was a missed call from the Baratie asking him to come into work, or that Tashigi had called to say how happy she was without him. He at least thought one of his old flings would ask how he was doing through text, but it seems as though no one cares.

They never truly did, did they?

Throughout his life thus far, Sanji could only trust one man - a very bulky, loud, and demanding bastard - whom was awkward with affectionate emotions, but at least he was there while he still could.

His chest tight, Sanji went through his contact list and deleted name after name. He cursed every single one of them until he reached the very last contact in his phone and couldn't find it within himself to even touch the screen.

Zef...

Zef was never big with technology but he invested in a phone to communicate with Sanji and Sanji alone when he was going through _that_ stereotypical teen faze. He couldn't figure out calls let alone texting but he did his best to make Sanji notice how hard he was trying to connect with him even if his name in his phone was EggPlant with a sun emoji next to it. It pissed him off more than anything but deep down, he appreciated his father figure and structured an unbreakable bond between them.

He caught himself scratching at his tight chest as his lungs burned for air. He had half the mind to press the call button…

Taking a deep breath, the retracted his nails from his skin and ran them through his oily hair as he pressed the green button next to the next and pushed the phone to his ear. The phone didn't ring, not even once, and went straight to voicemail.

" _I feel so dumb._ "

He's eyes closed as all his muscles tensed to curl himself into a tight ball. This was his voice - this was Zef.

" _Just say your name, geezer._ "

He could hear himself in the background, trying to help Zef as best he could without sounding too affectionate. He remembered this day - after all, it was only a year ago.

" _Is it going?_ "

" _It's recording._ "

" _Even our conversation right now? How the hell can it-_ "

" _Just say your stupid name!_ "

" _Shut up you shitty little-!_ "

The recording cuts off there. They were both too frustrated with each other to fix it then and too busy to fix it later.

Honestly, when he pressed the call button just now, he didn't know what he was expecting to come out of it. Weather he thought Zef would answer from the other side or just be denied by a robotic telemarketer, he wasn't displeased with his decision. A better memory and his voice was still there and that was more than enough.

Wiping the tears he didn't know had shed, he calmed his throbbing heart through deep breaths. No need to start the morning with even more despair than there already is. Life and Death had given him a small window to escape through for the day and still have yet to stamp his curfew - he planned on utilizing this time to the fullest.

The scent of something burning through the air vent was enough to get him out of bed - though his immediate thought of possible danger wasn't to escape, but to draw closer to the could-be rising flames. Slipping on a black hoodie, Sanji inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. He willed himself to wrap his slender fingers around the gold knob before gently pushing it open.

He half expected someone to be waiting on the other side, ready to congratulate him for his nervous venture out his bedroom so far, but no one jump into view in the crack, no one grabbed the other side and swung it open entirely. The hallway was bright with natural light, random objects littering the floor as random drawings littered the walls - they were things that quirked his interest and made him peek his head into the hall to witness even more previously unseen disorder.

Interestingly enough, nothing ticked inside him - the OCD switch seemed to be stuck - but this did not mean slight pricks of unease did not exist. As if he were a timid turtle, he half wanted to go back into the comfort of his organized shell and not deal with the mess of the world; but he's already made it so far…

His heart quickened, Anticipation meeting at the water cooler with Anxiety and Fear, as he looked up and down the hall before slipping out and silently shutting the door behind him. He clutched his chest, holding Anxiety's hand as Fear ripped his fingers from the knob. Anticipation kept him pressed against the wall and kept him moving.

Voices flooded the corridor, making Anxiety hug his arm, Fear pound against his swelling chest, and Anticipation shove him forward. He could feel the cold sweat rolling down his neck as he descended the staircase. The top half of the staircase was covered by drywall on both sides but the bottom was nothing but open railing, if he dared venture that far down, the bodies possessing the voices would see their new housemate and want to get to know him.

Anxiety gripped his throat, hiding behind his back: _What if they don't like me?_

Fear clung to his ankles, keeping him from taking another step: _What if they make fun of me?_

Anticipation twisted his stomach, its long fingers making balloon animals out of his intestines: _What if they can help me?_

Silently, he sat and leaned over his knees. Through small opening of the wall and the first peg holding up the stair railing, Sanji could see a large kitchen, its cupboards chalk painted black with colorful chalk drawing littering their surfaces, the cluttered counters white marble with very few stains, and the appliances shinny silver. Nothing matched, nothing was in order - especially not the three teens and one grown man running, yelling, and laughing in subtle panic at the small stove fire.

The OCD switch was still stuck as Sanji continued to observe the events before him unfold. The three unrecognized teens were very different in appearance. The tallest was larger than six foot, exceeding the man - as Sanji knew as Franky - with a dark afro to top his slender frame. His skin was lighter than the other teens but seemed to not be denied the view of the sun every once in awhile. His eyes were covered by dark sunglasses as he dressed in daggy genes and a blue band T-shirt.

The average height teen was darker skinned because he never denied it from the sun, his dark curls were tight but long enough to pull into a ponytail to keep out of his eyes and long nose. He wore no shirt under his color stained overalls but a white and blue striped sweatband on his left arm.

Lastly, the shortest of the group was maybe just above five foot and looked much younger than the others as well. Estimating him around the age of thirteen or fourteen, his skin was naturally coffee toned, dark freckles dusting across his cheeks and nose, and his eyes a light hazel. His hair was mostly hidden under a dark pink beanie that seemed to barely fit his small head - letting his long dark brown bangs hide his forehead - a small white "X" stitched to the front right side. He wore shin-long basketball shorts, a loose T-shirt, and carried a blue backpack behind him.

The fire seemed to grow, the scent of yeast burning filled Sanji's nose as well as the smoke detectors. Now, not only was the youngest screaming as the other two barks orders at the cursing Frank, the alarm was beeping - starting from one end of the house and gradually picking up at the other end of the house as the smoke rose to the other floors.

Fear was cowering from the loud environment.

Anxiety was tense at the site of the panicking others.

Anticipation was hypnotized by the licking flames.

Sanji was no stranger to fire in the kitchen - in fact, he often needed it - so before he knew it, he was racing down the rest of the steps, all three entities pushing him forward to stop the nose, the panic, the fire. He found himself side stepping past the three strangers, shoving Franky aside before he could swat the flames with an ordinary wash cloth, picked up the tall blazing pan and threw it into the kitchen sink before starting the faucet on full force. The fire ended in a hissing, hot vapor defeat.

The turtle has slayed the fire breathing sea dragon, but rescued the hungry sharks…

"Oh. Sanji." Franky voiced behind him, "Good to see you're doing well this morning."

The silence that followed was awkward. Sanji couldn't muster up the courage to turn around and greet the new faces while no one else dared to speak up. His gaze still glued to the sink, Sanji couldn't help but spot the origin of the fire. A soggy, charred pancake. Curiosity took over his eyes, shifting them to the burner setting.

Without meaning to, Sanji muttered, "You can't cook pancakes on high heat, dumbass."

He couldn't feel his arms as they scrubbed the cooled pan clean of chard, couldn't feel himself taking small steps away from the sink and towards the burner, couldn't feel his nimble fingers lower the blazing temperature of the stove. He was numb.

"You have to heat the pan to a low medium for even cooking." The words were spoken through his lips, in his rough tone, but they weren't his words.

It was as if he was out of his body, watching himself feel and move and process as he drifted a few feet behind, above, and in front of his own physical being. He only seemed to be moving purely from muscle memory.

"Once the pan is warm but not hot, spread butter over its surface." He watched himself pick up the pan and shift it every which way to butter it good and well. "But not too much."

He watched himself pick up the ladle from the raw pancake mix bowl and pour some into the warm pan. He knew it was hot, that he was standing too close but he couldn't feel any warmth. For once he couldn't feel any pain.

"Once the surface starts to bubble, only then do you flip." His body waited a few minutes before doing exactly that.

As of right now, he didn't know if he could handle the pain of being in his body any longer, but then again the hollowness within his current presents was even less captivating. Being able to feel and experience things first hand without a filter is what living is. If he chose to stay in this half existing state, living wouldn't be what he'd be doing, and when he dies would be entirely up to his subconsciousness.

Life and Death would no longer be important, but people have to live before they can die…

As if Life had caught him cheating, it took his hand and made him scim across the raised edge of the pan. Its' hot surface sizzling flesh, pulling him back into his own body to take his burning hand away from the heat.

Hiding the pain by shoving his fist into his sweatpants pocket - and hiding Anxieties tight choke hold - he continued his demonstration. "After about the same time has passed on the other side, plate it and spread a small amount of butter while it's still warm. Then, add the perfect amount of syrup on top. Never so much to puddle the plate but enough to make sure each bite has at least a drop."

Turning around, Sanji presented the four males with the single, beautifully plated pancake; but didn't dare meet their gaze.

"Please, enjoy," he finished and watched from the corner of his eye as all four took a bite. At the same time, all four seemed to melt and hum with pleasure. Sanji was no stranger to their reactions but Anxiety still tightened its hold. Breathing was becoming harder. He cleared his throat, and adjusted the neck collar of his hoodie.

"Holly shit," the average height teen gaped.

"Language," Franky warned.

"Holly shit," the youngest echoed in a much higher pitched tone.

Franky only sighed.

Sanji couldn't feel the praise they were obviously granting him. His throat was closing in on him, his head was swimming, him stomach was knotting. He felt like he was going to throw up. Food is what his body wanted but water is what he promised. If it wasn't Zef's food, he didn't want to eat anything else - even if his own cooking was similar to his, it was never the same.

His hands, his burned, broken, scarred hands could not be trusted. Life could possess them, they could intentionally poison his own food again and Zef wouldn't be there to stop him his time… No one would. Not even himself…

Alarms rang - not the fire alarms that had been silenced while he cooked - but internal bells that rang _Get out._ they screamed _Get out!_

Sensing danger, the turtle ventured back to his shell.

Walking around the males arguing over the last piece, Sanji was about to escape up the steps when he large hand gripped his hood and pulled him back.

The turtle's been spotted by a shark.

"Wait up, Sanji. Meet the others first."

Sanji shook Franky's hold instinctively and straightened his hoodie as a numbingly icy wall frosted over his heart - a natural self defence mechanism he's picked up ever since he was little but he could never physically feel himself grow cold until Zef was diagnosed.

If the trapped turtle starts to feel comfortable around the sharks, they'll attack. He needs to keep his guard up, if so much as a tiny tasty glimmer of trust is planted and presented towards the sharks, they will not hesitate to eat it - destroying it and him along with it.

"Sanji," Franky smiled, "These are my kids. Everyone, this is Sanji."

"Our new D-n-S?" the youngest asked.

"I wanted them to be a girl," the tallest pouted.

"Brook, Chopper, that's kinda rude," the long nose whispered before smiling to Sanji and sticking out his hand, "I'm Usopp. The short one's Chopper, and this tall bag a' bones is Brook. Nice to meetcha."

Sanji avoided eye contact, avoided shaking his hand as well, and scratched the back of his neck. He didn't say anything letting silence drown the others.

The turtle can't move as the sharks continued to block his way.

"So… you can cook," the smallest - Chopper - smiled up at the blond, "That was the best pancake of my life!"

Sanji only nodded. He doesn't need them to like him, he only needs them to move.

"Yeah," Franky chuckled awkwardly, "Sanji's old man taught him everything he knows. They own a restaurant so it's no mystery he can cook so well."

There was another, more dangerous predator out today. The turtle could feel it drawing near.

Sanji's heart swelled, his chest heaved unevenly and rapidly. _Escape!_ the bells rang, _Danger!_

Shoving past, Sanji slipped between Usopp and Chopper before bolting up the stairs and slamming his bedroom door shut.

His hand was over his heart again while the other combed through his hair. He paced his room, the walls feeling as though they were quickly pushing in, closing him into a small box. If the walls come any closer, if the ceiling drops any farther, he just knows no light will filter through, he knows no one will be able to hear him screaming. His mind will be swimming with gas fumes. His fragile body will be at the mercy of the road conditions. The small, pitch black trunk will have no safety belts.

He can't go through that again. He can't fucking do it again!

Sometimes a turtle's shell will break and it's those times where they are most vulnerable.

"Let me out." he didn't realize he was kneeling, holding his head, strangling his roots with an iron grip. He didn't realize he put himself in that exact position as then.

"Someone, let me out of here."

Was that knocking, or distant thunder. He was couldn't tell anymore.

"Sanji? Everything alright in there?"

His eyes snapped open, forcing him out from his building panic attack before it could take full effect on his body. His sore legs pushed him to stand from his crouch as he groaned, "What do you what?" He doesn't know what the hell just happened, honestly, it was exactly like pissing his pants in the bathroom yesterday. Flashes of… something appeared and threw him for a loop. Whatever the hell it is, he needs to act normal around these people. A turtle can't be vulnerable around sharks.

"Franky says we're going out so get dressed." It was Usopp.

Sanji took a shaky breath to calm his still buzzing nerves, "I'll take a rain check."

"You don't have a choice," Chopper's voice piped in, "A D-n-S can't be left alone for safety reasons."

Sanji remained silent.

This was Life, wasn't it. These fucked up midday nightmares and out of character social anxiety could only be the sick game Life created. Sanji was tired of it. Where was Death when you needed it?

"Come on, Sanji," Usopp chuckled through the door. "Today's Turf War is going to be quite the show. The rest of the gang is going to be there."

Flashes of the Straw Hat emblem spray painted on the front door flashed through his mind. He had entirely forgotten about the gangs Franky told him about. But there was something more important on his mind now.

Swinging his door open to be greeted by Usopp and Chopper, Sanji felt his curly eyebrows knit together, "What the hell is a Turf War?"


	5. Part: 5

"So," her smile was soft as she lowered her hand bag at the front door threshold, "where is he?"

Squated on the staircase in the same fashion as this morning, Sanji strained to hear the conversation between Franky and the new arrival. This _was_ about him after all.

"Up stairs," Franky grumbled, crossing his arms as he glared out the window.

More like on them, Sanji thought as he continued his observations of the woman. She was tall, maybe a few inches taller than him, with long pitch hair and natural coffee toned skin. Franky's broad shoulders covered her face from this angle, but he didn't dare step from hiding place and risk being caught just to glance at the woman's face. Escape will be easier if he continues to further his snooping undetected.

He could hear her laugh, its slightly muted presence didn't sway her melodious tone as he saw a petite hand gently tap Franky's arm, "Don't take it too harshly, big guy." - Franky's blush from the simple touch didn't go unnoticed by the observer, but the man's glare out the glass didn't lessen - "He's a new arrival. This is to be expected."

"But I shouldn't have to call you every time something comes up with one of mine. I should be able to fix whatever problem they have by myself."

The woman laughed again, "You specialize in _taking care of_ tramma kids, that doesn't necessarily mean they'll be brand new with no scars once they walk out these doors. You know it takes time, Franky."

Franky sighed as he stepped aside to lead the woman into the kitchen, and in doing so, blocked Sanji's view of the guest entirely. "I know, I know. I just… This one's different."

He could hear a countertop chair being pushed out before he could see Franky gesture for the woman to sit with her back to the stairs. Sanji could make out her figure now, her waist was slender but her hips were curvy. Under the thin curtain of black hair, Sanji could make out her shoulder blades as she leaned over the marble counter to rest her chin in her hand as she listened to Franky who sat beside her.

"This kid, he's not fake. He's not acting for attention."

"That's why he's here."

"No, not only that, it's kind of like… he's telling me something's wrong by not telling me something's wrong. You know what I mean?"

Sanji felt his heart drop. He didn't realize how good of a caretaker Franky was until now. Hell, he didn't realize he truly cared so much until now.

" _I accept who you are - even if you are nothing more than pieces. You are apart of the Franky Family from today onwards; but fair warning D-n-S, I have a knack for fixing broken things."_

He shook away the thought, he can't get his hopes up. He won't be able to pick himself up again if something happens, if his words turn into lies only to stab his heart later on just like Tashigi's. Just the memory of her pushing him away caused his hand to lift to his heart. Oh how it loved to ach nowadays.

"Sounds like someone we know," the woman nodded.

Franky scowled at the comment, "They're both stubborn as all hell, too."

The kitchen went silent, not an awkward, unbearable hush, but a comfortable, peaceful stillness. Sanji couldn't help but feel on edge, though, it's been awhile since he's sat in this type of tranquil - so to say he didn't expect something terrible to happen any moment would be a lie.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere - like, making sure our kids don't die," the woman whispered, and despite the content of her words, Sanji could hear the smile lasing her soothing tone.

In an instant, Franky was standing, "Shit, you're right! Thank you, Robin, I'll be leaving now!"

Sanji watched the woman - Robin - muffle her giggle with the back of her hand, "You're forgetting something."

"Right. Keys."

"Pants."

"DAMNIT!"

Pants zipped, keys clutched, and door shut, Sanji could hear Franky curse all the way out to his car, could hear the tires spin out on the gravel, and could even made out a loud but distant horn as he barrelled down the hill and into town.

Odd was the only word Sanji could find to describe that man.

A thick blanket of silence draped over him again, but it didn't last long. Before he could figure out his noiseless escape, Robin gave him no time to retreat up the steps when she spun the stool seat around to face him, her back against the counter as her elbows held her weight on it, and he could finally see her face. Her nose pinched and pointed defined the dark blue eyes peering into his soul with a light and kind smile tugging at the corners of her full lips.

"Hello there," Robin nodded, her smile never faltering from its calming presence.

Sanji blinked from his momentary surprise and relaxed his rigid muscles as best he could. "Yeah, hey."

"You must be-"

"Sanji. And you're-"

"Robin. Nice to meet you."

He nodded, and they were thrown into another silence; but this one wasn't the same as before. It wasn't relaxing anymore - it was tense, but she continued to smile and whittle away his worries.

She patted the chair Franky was previously in, "Care to join me?"

Sanji took from his crouch and took his time walking down the steps before avoiding the chair and her all together and stopped directly across from her to stared her down. Her smile turned confused, but when she turned around to face him, it was back - in the palm of her hand.

"Franky tells me you're a chef."

"My old man was the chef."

"But I'm talking about you."

Sanji felt his eyebrows knit together, unsure if he appreciated his old man's passion being pushed aside for the sake of acknowledging his talents instead.

"And what if I am?"

"Well," Robin smiled, "I haven't eaten lunch yet," - Sanji's eyes darted to the oven top clock - 1:38 pm - then rested back to her - "so it would be a delight to eat something made by someone who knows his way around the kitchen."

Sanji crossed his arms as he thought. It wouldn't hurt, no one's here to stop him or scold him if something were to happen. Robin is hard to read, he couldn't tell if her smile was genuine or not, but she seemed willing and hopeful.

"I won't bother you, if that's what you're thinking." Robin sighed, "I brought a book that's been waiting to be read since I bought it. This is really the first time I've picked it up, so I'd be too lost in the story to speak with you if being alone is what you truly desire."

Sanji turned around at the comment, done bruting over what to do as he examined the fridge. He had to force himself not to cringe, not to slam the door in disgust. Leftovers on top of leftovers, on top of leftovers - containers of molding mush pushed to the back with recent disasters spilling over the ledge. His eyes scanned the front line containers quickly, spotting age in every one of them and dared not to even think about what the back ones may contain.

Hesitant, he reached inside, pulled out a few items that looked somewhat edible at least and shut the door with his foot as he turned around to place the items on the counter.

As much as it pains him, he'll have to go through the fridge and throw everything out later.

Sanji looked up to Robin across the way, she had pulled a large, hardcover book from her handbag and had it resting on the counter. Her eyes were already skimming the second page while her fingers traced over the sharp corner.

Did he dare disturb her after she promised not to disturb him? It's not like she asked him not to, at the least, she'll be too lost in her book to hear.

"Hand sandwiches alright for now? I can even start a pot if you'd like."

Robin didn't lift her eyes while she turned the page but a light smile crept across her face as she replied, "Sounds wonderful. Thank you, Sanji."

...

Franky arrived to Scrap, a junkyard in between Doc Four - enemy territory - and Pear One - Straw Hat territory - just in time. As soon as he got out of his car, he made haste to pull a punk off Chopper and deflect a metal bat coming their way.

"Where's your backup, Chopper?" Franky yelled to the young teen as he searched for a safe place in the rampage.

"Usopp's in position. Here."

Taking the earpiece from Chopper, Franky adjusted it to his cartilage and quickly picked him up before he could get a hammer to the back of the head. He shoved the assailant away easily.

"Franky to Usopp, this is base. Come in Usopp," Franky commanded.

"I'm here," the static filling his ear tuned for a moment as Usopp spoke.

"We're surrounded, dumbass. What the hell are you doing up there?"

"I just got set up. Air Strike is loaded for demolishing, everyone. Be ready."

"What?" Nami's voice cut in through the static. "Already?"

"Yeah, we're out num - NAMI, LOOK OUT!"

In the distance, a large cloud of dust mushroomed into the air as a hollow _boom_ shook the yard but that didn't stop the fighting.

Franky looked to the mushroom cloud with concern, holding back Chopper from rushing in to serve any type of aid that may be needed. "Usopp, what the hell was that?!"

"Is Nami OK?!" Luffy screeched, his voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard from his earpiece being broken during the fight. Figures.

"Usopp, talk to us." Zoro grunted, "What do you see up there?"

Every fiber of Franky's being told him to go check on her, to let Chopper explore the wreckage - but he couldn't put the young member into that type of danger. Nami was a front line fighter with Zoro and Luffy, stepping anywhere in that direction can lead to an early death.

"I can't see anything! There's too much dust!"

"Damnit!" Franky cursed as he placed Chopper on his shoulder, "We're going in-"

"Wait!" Nami finally cut through again, her voice not as clear as before; but Franky could still hear her panting and grunting in pain. He felt his heart thud with relief, what he would've done if she were gone would probably kill them all. "Don't get your panties in a swist, boys. The earpiece just cracked a little. Think you can fix it, Franky?"

Franky gave a chuckle with the air he hadn't realized he'd been holding until now. "You know I can."

"Ok," Nami grunted, "I'm falling back."

"Are you alright?" Luffy called.

"Just peachy. Brook, what's your position?"

They all waited for an answer, but none came.

"Brook," Franky frowned, "Come in, Brook."

"Usopp, do you have eyes on him?" Chopper chimed.

"Yea, just a sec… Ok, so it looks like he took out his earpiece again."

"That Bastard," Zoro grumbled.

"Sorry, Nami." Usopp sighed. "No one's close enough to assist. Can you find a designated safe place?"

"Yea. I see one but it's across the arena. You'll shoot anyone who's coming my way, right?"

Usopp scoffed, making Franky smile, "After all that we've been through, you still dare question my ability?"

"Then prove to me you still got it. Ready?"

"There's a small opening to your right. If you go down that path, I've got every angle covered."

"Got it."

"Be careful," Zoro cut in, "The princess won't be happy if another date night is spent in the hospital."

"Shut up, dumbass. Let's go, Usopp!"

Franky could hear the hollow _pop_ of Usopp's stun gun from above and the occasional loud cry of pain from being hit by the electric bullets - Franky's clever invention.

"Okay," Usopp breathed, "Nami's safe. Everyone else, you need to get to cover as well. I'm initiation Air Strike."

"Come on," Luffy groaned through the earpiece, "We can handle it."

Franky punch an advancing enemy in the face before turning around and doing the same thing to someone else. "Damnit," he grunted, "They found the base!"

Chopper's shrill voice cut through the air surrounding Franky and the man wasted no time switching to protective father mode. Ripping the punck off Chopper by his hair, Franky flung him across the battlefield.

"You okay, Chopper?" Franky panted, calming down slightly but never being caught off guard.

"Yeah. I'm okay," the young teen nodded, the color drained from his face in fright.

"Shit," Zoro cursed - the tone of his voice rigid from hearing Chopper under distress. "We have no choice, Captain. Fall back to safety."

Picking up Chopper, Franky rushed to his car again - not caring if anyone fallows and trashed the experior since he can just fix it later - and shoved them both into the backseat before slamming the door closed and locking it.

"Everyone's in position," Ussop called, which Franky could barely hear over the loud banging coming from the punks trying to break in the windows. "Air Strike locked in, stay down!"

Suddenly, as if the bats were substituted with heavy _thunks_ of rain, nothing could be heard but the poisson falling from the sky, and after a few minutes of nothing, Usopp declared full victory.

"Yea!" Luffy cheered, "THE JUNKYARD IS OURS!"

Climbing out of the car, Franky was careful not to touch any of the sleep serum on the car or the ground. He was even courteous enough to not step on the unconscious enemy. Now that all the flying dirt and enemies have been put to a stop, Franky could see Zoro's head over a junk hill.

Raising his rand, Franky waved, "Over here Zoro!"

Eye contact was initiated before he started running over. Taking out his ear piece, Zoro said, "Is Chopper alright? It sounded like he got attacked."

Franky took out his earpiece too and smiled when Chopper sprang from the car and was engulfed into a tight hug. No answer was needed as the two - once foster brothers - hugged it out. To say Zoro was a protective big brother at times was an understatement.

"Come on," Franky sighed, "Let's go check on the others. I'm sure Nami needs to be looked at."

As the three venturer through the Junkyard in search of Nami they found Luffy and Brook who helped in the search - and so did Usopp when he returned from his position above.

"Fallow me, she's over this way," Usopp instructed and they all followed.

Pulling away some fallen over junk, Nami was revealed to be splattered in blood and holding the side of her face which was dripping red.

"Robin's going to kill me," Franky gaped in horror as everyone hovered over Chopper while he looked at the gash on the side of the girl's face.

"Ready, I'm fine, guys," Nami chuckled, "It looks a lot worse than what it actually is. The knife just grazed me and caught my ear. I'm okay."

"Well," Chopper sighed with unease, "She's not wrong but I will need to clean it just to make sure no bacteria was on the blade."

Franky chuckled as he turned to everyone, "You heard the doctor! Everyone is joining us at the Frank House!"

...

Four hours have passed since lunch but both individuals have yet to move from their designated side of the kitchen island. Within that time, Robin had pulled her hair into a loose bun - her bangs and side wisps hanging free - and a little more than halfway done with her book. The mug of refilled hot coffee the only evidence of the meal. Sanji, on the other hand, wasn't as peaceful as his companion.

With fours hours of silence, he worked around the kitchen - rearranging the cabinets to every chef's ideal station, cleaned the dusty dishware in the back of cupboards, and - much to his horror - cleared out and scrubbed the fridge mold free.

For four hours, Sanji didn't think about Life or Death outside on the beach, didn't acknowledge Loneliness waiting on the steps, and Fear trying to take his hand when he cause Robin watching him from time to time. For four hours, there was nothing but the melody of pages turning and the occasional gag escaping his throat.

In the back of his mind, he silently wished this type of stillness could stay with him forever. That no other thoughts about the past or the future or the entities waiting for him outside come to mind. He wanted to keep this feeling of inner calmness within a tight grip and never let go even if it gave him blisters along the way.

Perhaps Melancholy called in sick today and Serenity was the only available substitute for four wonderful hours.

Sadly, his four hours were up.

"I hear a phone ringing upstairs," Robin's voice chimed.

Sanji stopped stirring the pot over the stove and stepped back into reality. He looked around for a moment, a lost expression on his face as he peered over all the ingredients displayed on the counter beside him. He hadn't even realized he had started cooking.

Whatever it was he was making, it was done and ready to be plated. He turned to burner down to a simmer to plate keep warm for dinner.

"Sanji?"

Sanji turned around now, his muscles slightly tence from hearing Robin's voice for the first time in a long while. He just realized how sore his back was from standing all day.

"Yes?"

Robin's eyes flashed concern before they shifted back to her book. "There's a phone ringing upstairs. It might be important."

Without another word, Sanji took his leave up the steps and down the darkening hall. Up until now, he had been able to fend off Anxiety; but once he stepped into the shadows of the dim corridor, he felt it take his hand once again.

Entering his room, he found Fear waiting for him on his bed, pointing to the flashing phone before rushing to hid behind him. It clawed at his shoulder blades as both entities peered over his shoulders.

 _What if it was Franky calling to say I'm too broken to stay here anymore?_ Fear nestled against his spine.

 _What if it's an old acquaintance? What will I tell them if they wanted to know how I was doing?_ Anxiety hugged his rib cage, squeezing out the air until he couldn't breathe.

A hesitant hand picked up the flashing phone and he sighed when it revealed one missed call and attached voicemail.

Fear and Anxiety still clung to him, but their effects were overcome by Curiosity and before he knew it, he was dialing his voicemail password. He stayed quiet as the voice on the other side came in clear.

" _Hey, uh, Sanji._ "

It was Patty from the Baratie. Sanji took a seat on the low mattress.

" _It's Patty form work. Um, listen, I know that losing the old man is taking a harder tole on you than anything else in the world - and that you're still healing and settling in at your new place._ "

Sanji had half the mind to hang up, he didn't need his co-workers damn pity.

" _But there's something you need to know. This is… I know it's not the best time right now but the Baratie - without the old man to fend off the dogs… we can't stay in business much longer._ "

Ah, yes, there it was. Sorrow was back to grip his pounding heart and never give a shred of mercy.

" _I'm sorry, Sanji. I truly am-_ "

He couldn't let him finish, he couldn't stand to hear his voice, he couldn't bare the pain in his heart anylonger; and before he knew it, he was clutching his phone so tight, he spring locked his limbs to chuck the damned object at the windows and shatter through the glass. He gave the new opening no thought as he gripped his oily roots and screamed into his sheets.

Every organ felt like it was in a car compressor lit with Hell Fire flames. His muscles shook and tensed with despair and mystery. He couldn't breathe but the burning in his lunges and the aching in his heart could not compare to the agony within his soul.

The Baratie, the place he could always escape to and proclaim Sanctuary from the chasing monsters outside, the place he called home for so many years, the place _he_ resided and created beautiful works of culinary art, the place where _he_ made him his first full course meal, the place where _his_ soul prospered.

Oh God, why? Why must you take this too? Why must you take the only thing he has left to remember him by?

"Why," he quivered.

Clutching to the sheats for some type of support, Sanji's eyes scorched with tears, "WHY?!"

"Sanji, it's Robin," her voice was laced with concern and desperation but he couldn't bring himself to stop weeping long enough to tell her to stay away. "I'm coming in."

...

As soon as Zoro stepped through the threshold of The Franky Franky Mansion, he could sense the thick fog of anguish fill the usually mellow atmosphere. He's felt this type of woe before, back at the graveyard when he first met the panicked blond, he could never truly get him out of his mind since that day but he never expected to meet anyone with the same amount of loss within their soul.

Zoro knew there was a new D-n-S here, Chopper and Usopp talked briefly about him before the rade started, but his name never once crossed their gossiping vocal cords. Plus, what were the changes it was the same guy Zoro couldn't stop thinking about? It'd be best just to leave it alone before his hopes were dashed.

"Oh, food!" Luffy called from the kitchen, earning everyone's attention.

"Luffy," Chopper called, "I wouldn't eat _anything_ inside that fridge. You will get food poisoning."

"Hey," Franky grumbled. He wasn't that bad of a cook, but what he makes aren't the most… nutritious meals.

"No, no," Luffy called, "I already checked the fridge, it's empty, but I'm talking about the soup on the stove! Looks yummy, Thank you Robin!"

They all entered the kitchen now to see Luffy pouring himself a bowl, and Zoro couldn't help but scowl. Robin doesn't cook, either, and the scent of the soup doesn't contrast with the heavy sadness in the air.

Something was wrong here.

"Oh, that's not Robin," Franky chuckled. "Seems like our new resident has been busy."

Zoro spotted a note taped to the fridge: _If you know it's moldy, throw it out, dumbass. I'll replace all the food, just give me time_. Reading the note gave Zoro an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, a sense of familiarness, and without context, the blond from the cemetery popped into his head.

What was his name again?

He noticed one of Robin's books from her study open and displayed on the counter for all to see. A cup of steaming coffee filling the mug beside it. This wasn't like her.

"Where's Robin?" Nami asked, taking a bowl of soup for herself before Luffy could take his fourth serving.

"Probably tending to Sanji-"

Zoro felt his eyes widen and back stiffen. That was his name. Sanji.

Franky continued, "I've noticed he's been having a few episodes every now and then."

There was a loud crash upstairs and some distant yelling that couldn't be understood. Everyone looked up upon hearing the noise.

"Sounds like Robin took him into the Wreck Room," Brook muttered.

"I'm not surprised after what happened the other day," Usopp shrugged, taking a bowl of soup for himself and sitting down beside the others as they ate as well.

By now, Zoro was the only one not sitting and eating. Something else peaked his interest way more, "What happened the other day?"

His heart fluttered with nerves, and he didn't know why. All he knew was that he couldn't stop himself from growing concerned over the Curly Brow - if this even was the same guy. What if he had another panic attack, did they calm him properly? Is this the aftershock of the other day?

Everyone looked to him - which he couldn't blame them, he was acting out of character - but Franky quickly stole the spotlight. "He screamed at the ocean and tried to kill himself all in one day."

That was it. Zoro couldn't hold himself back anylonger. His stomach churned with just the thought of losing him - and despite not knowing why, he didn't question it. Maybe he understood he wouldn't be able to take the pain if he knew someone who had killed themselves - even if their meeting was a brief moment of their lives.

He raised up the steps, taking two at a time.

He has to make sure that everything is alright, he has to make sure he'll be able to see his gold streaked hair tomorrow and the next day, and the next day, and the next, because he couldn't get him out of his fucking head every since that day.

He ran down the hall, peering into every open door as to not get lost.

Ever since that day he has been waiting to make his acquaintance one more time weather it be in a bar or grocery store, or back at that grave yard. If this is truly him, what is stopping him from ensnaring him into the safety of his arms, into the warmth of his chest? What is stopping him from saving him from his own head full of nightmares?

But then again… is it selfish to force his company onto him? Is it wrong to want to mold his cold and lonesome soul with his?

He stopped at the threshold of the Wreck Room door. Shouting could be heard and glass breaking could be seen on the other side, but he didn't press forward to seek out the Curly Brow and Robin.

It could shatter them further, rub salt in open wounds, was it worth the risk?

Suddenly, inches away from the side of his face, an old rustic knife embedded itself into the door frame beside Zoro's right temple. The shouting had silenced with the hollow _thunk_ from the knife stabbing into the wall, the look of shock on both Robin and Sanji's faces from seeing the green haired man standing in the doorway made his heart pound.

It was him. The tears, the tangled hair, the disheveled clothes, the irritated blue eyes. It was really him.

Before he could think to say anything, Sanji dropped the other rustic knife and Zoro watched as his face turned from surprise to a blubbering mess. His hands formed to his own face to try and clean himself up as best he could as he sputtered out, "A-And where the hell have you been this whole time, you shitty Marimo?!"

Zoro's frozen stature melted into boiling relief as he took long strides towards Sanji and wrapped him in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry," he muttered into his hair."

"Wh-where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry. I'm here now."

Sanji clung to his clothes by the fist full, "They're gone, everything's gone."

Zoro brought a hand up to the back of his head, tangling his fingers in long strands of gold and held him closer. Has he been drowning this entire time? What has Life done to him in his short absence?

Something ached within Zoro's heart, a pain he had been yearning to feel for such a long time and suddenly he couldn't breathe. But it wasn't unbearable. It was the type of ache that soul mates have when they finally come together.

"Don't worry. I'll keep you afloat."

...

Hey guys, so need some help. While I was writing this story, it took a HUGE left turn from the original plot I had planned, thus making it shorter and the ending here. But, if you want more, I'm willing to change somethings around to continue it on. Tell me what you think in the comments - keep going or stop it here. Thank you for reading!


	6. Act Two - Part: 6

Hey guys! So I decided to continue this story because I couldn't stop thinking about it. But this chapter kinda goes back to part one when Sanji first meets Zoro at the wake but from Zoro's point of view. I thought it'd give a lot of clarity as to why Zoro pretty much was already in love with Sanji when they meet for a second time in the previous chapter.

Enjoy!

\- Act Two -

"It's been awhile. How you holding up?"

"I'm, uh… Yeah."

"Yellow?"

"Orange."

The straw woven chair creaked as she leaned forward, folding herself over her crossed legs and stared at him. A glimmer of something shining behind mahogany orbs - something he couldn't describe in a single word nor in a string of them; but her lowered eyebrows and straight pink lips were hints for him and symptoms of worry for her. "But not red, right?" she questioned, "No point in your week turned red?"

"I miss the blue."

She leaned back, her chair creaks once more. "Blue isn't on our spectrum, Zoro."

"I know that, you idiot." He made eye contact with her, caught her gaze before averting his eyes and held his arms tighter to his chest. "Sorry."

His quick glimpse of her snow pale face, braided blech locks, ugly mustard yellow sweater, thick rimmed Ray Bans, and her name printed thick on the front of her sweater still fresh in his mind despite glancing around the dim room to deplete the awkward tension gnawing at his tight throat. Conis - this therapist - she was too sweet to call her an idiot.

She ignored his outburst all together, "I heard it was nice weather last week."

"Yeah." He spotted her obnoxious red rubber boots - the same pair she wears every time he has an appointment - and couldn't help but glare. Despite the weather report, it's not raining today - not right now at least - but she refuses to wear anything else on his days, knowing well just how much they annoy him and just how much they remind him of _her_.

He rolled his eyes, "I thought about going for a nice walk. Didn't get that far, though, two steps out the door and I suddenly really wanted to marathon Dexter on Netflix," sarcasm wiped from this sharp tongue.

Her boots squeaked.

"You know what I mean, Zoro."

He chose silence, watching the clock hands count down the seconds he has left, its ticking growing louder and louder. A blaring sinfany, but not quite as bold as his heart pulsing against his eardrums - possessing a countdown of its own.

Readjusted his position, the springs confined in the old Lazy Boy recliner groaning. One of his down legs now bent and folded to the side, resting over his over thigh as he sank into the cushion. His new position did nothing to help him breath through the stiff air clotting his throat.

He swallowed hard and glared at the wall, "I don't want to talk about that."

"That's why you're here."

"No" -his chuckle was drier than his scalp as he scratched his crown- "I don't know why I'm here. I'm perfectly fine."

"Your friend is worried about you."

"Well, she needs to stay out of my business and get a life."

His heart ached as he sank further in his chair - realization striking him like lightning - and he silently wished he could suck back in those words, sew his mouth shut and never blurt such a thing again.

Seconds ticked by when she cracked the spark of conversation, "Are we still talking about your friend, Robin? Or were you referring to-"

He cleared his throat but his saliva was sticky and thick. "I think we're done for today."

"But we just started."

"I need to go."

"Think for a minute, Zoro," her voice was calm, but she stood in a haist as well, "You can't just blow off therapy because you don't want to talk about something - that defeats the purpose."

Strong fingers grasping the door handle gave it a twist, the howling wind blew short strands of his grassy green hair but he couldn't care less. "Watch me."

She grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back inside, "You can't push away depression like you do with other people. You can't shut it out. It demands to be felt - and walking away from it isn't what Kuina would want you to do."

He hadn't realized just how hard he had been gripping the door handle until he found it to be the source of his shaking - or maybe it was because he couldn't breath. The Febreze sprayed air was so thick with false expectations it blocked his airway, urging him into a form of instant panic. He needs to flee the flawed comfort of Conis' trauma laboratory - every fiber of his being told him to run, escape, get the hell out of there - he trembled with those temptations.

The pulsing of his heart and the ticking of the clock turned to ringing - swarming his pounding head with fire alarms. _Get out_ , it ringed, _Get out!_

Throwing the door open once more, Zoro broke into a sprint - his legs spazzing, enlightening spontaneous pain from lack of stretching before hand but he kept running through the gray world surrounding him.

The people, the shops, the cars - all drained of their previous colors, all washed with bleach and repainted the color spectrum he felt within his soul. There was no Good Green, Mellow Yellow, or Raging Red - it was only an emotionless grey, a numb, out of body dullness.

She was the rainbow - an artist who painted his world with warm and cool colors, never leaving anything out, and barely used black for outlines or grey for sketches of what could be - but she was scrubbed from his life with bold maroon splattered across her delicate canvas. He misses her yellow sun, green grass, and blue skies; but all he was left with was gray led sketches of what used to be and Depression's dark evil shadows that demanded to be noticed. Life didn't even try to fool him anymore.

No matter what his therapist says, he can and he will push Depression in his coat closet, lock it's despicable being in, and destroy the key even if that means never allowing himself out of his room to be certain it won't escape and so he won't ever see it's deep depths ever again.

But back to the foster house was not his desired destination as he shoved forward, never once stopping to look for cars while he crossed streets and ignored the confused mutters of random pedestrians in his wake. The local news channel had said there was going to be a storm today - first the wind, then rain, and lastly his worse enemy: lightning - but he couldn't stand his room a second longer let alone bare the storm alone.

The first crackle of the angered wips rumbled above - making him trip before continuing - it was only a block away now, her favorite flower shop.

Just as he entered, the rain started accompanied with the rumbling thunder not too far away. The bells run loud as they were played by the howling wind but soon hushed as he pulled the door closed and regained his breath.

"Oh my goodness!" a young girl squeaked from behind the counter, her twin ponytails bouncing as she hopped down from her tall stool and rushed to the heaving teen.

"Are you rlight, Zoro? What happened?"

Catching his breath, he stood straight and ruffled the girl's hair, "I'm fine Rika. Just went for a little run."

"In the storm? Why the heck would you do that?" Rika gaped.

"Stay out of my business, Shrimp."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the girl sighed, all concern gone as she walked back around the counter and climbed the stool once more to be just below Zoro's height as he step up to the counter.

Rika was too poor to go to school - her mother too drunk to get her lazy ass out of bed to sign her up - but Rika was good with numbers and money without her guardian's help. The young girl pretty much ran the shop from opening to closing time and didn't complain a single bit. Good thing the shop was just inside the Straw Hat borders for him to keep a close eye on her since she's bailed him out of jail more than a young girl should ever have to.

"The usual," Zoro sighed.

Rika made a face - her nose scrunched, eyes darting to the ground as her hands fidgeted with her dress - but she didn't speak.

"Don't tell me they're late on deliveries _again_ ," Zoro crossed his arms, "Want me to confront them? I'll bring the others - leave them _ruing_ the day they're ever late for your deliveries ever again."

"Oh! No, no!" Rika squeaked, "It's not that," and she was back to fiddling her fingers.

"Then what is it?"

"W-Well, you see Zoro, yesterday a funeral survious came through and asked for all the yellow roses. I would've kept one bouquet but there wasn't enough in stock for how much they were asking for. I didn't want to lose this month's water bill money, so… I'm really sorry, Zoro."

His heart shuddered before a low ach began. It wasn't as unbearable as it use to be, but the effects were like a scare that never faded. He quickly pulled a smile on his lips to play it off, "It's okay, Rika. I understand."

"But you've never visited her without flowers before - oh, this is all my fault."

"No," Zoro chuckled, calming the young girl before she could start crying, "It's really okay - actually, this is perfect. With the storm, the flowers would've been blown away and wasted. It's better without flowers."

"A-Are you sure?"

"Yup, so cheer up, Kid."

Rika smiled, wiping her reddened nose on the back of her sleeve. "Okay. I'll make absolutely sure to save you a bouquet of yellow roses for next time."

Turning to the door, Zoro waved, "Don't be afraid to call if you mother brings any weirdos in again, alright? I'll be here is a snap."

Rika giggled, "I know. Thank you Zoro. Bye, bye!"

Once again, he was out in the howling wind but this time, rain accompanied him as well, and he began running.

The scar in his heart ached and pulled at his arteries - making his recently healed chest wound burn his rib cage. But he didn't dare stop running, the burn of his wound was better than feel the hollowness within his heart - feel how crushed he truly was that Rika didn't have her favorite flower arrangement held just for him. But the most important reason why - why he must go to her now - was because of the storm.

She was always so afraid of thunder.

The graveyard was the only place he didn't get lost in, he knew everyone's name and position in her area and where exactly her stone was standing, so it was no surprise when he found her without any trouble yet again. The thunder had yet to crack on the horizon - but even with the rumbles of warming from above, she was always so afraid.

Soaked from head to toe, he sat on the mushy grass, leaned against her headstone, and started up at the dark thunderclouds above. "Don't worry, Kuina," he muttered, glaring through the rain, "I won't let you bare this storm alone."

Suddenly, Zoro's view was blocked by a dark umbrella - but he wasn't surprised when he heard her sigh, "You'll catch a cold, you know."

The burning of his wound worsened as he closed his eyes, "What are you doing here, Parona."

"You're not the only one who knew of Kuina's fear of thunder, Roronoa."

"How you two ever became best friends, I'll never understand."

Perona laid her rain coat on the grass beside him and sat upon it, holding the umbrella over all three of them. "I think we really bonded over picking on you so much over the years. You were such a stereotypical _little brother_ type back then."

He shivered at the memory of dresses and makeup - all of which were Perona's but his older sister wasn't one to miss an opportunity to embarrass him. He stayed quiet, listening to the rain and rumbling thumper. For a moment, just for a split second, he wished the mettle rob in the umbrella would get electrocuted and end him once and for all; but that would mean Perona would also be killed, and despite how annoying she can be, he can't lose her too. She was the only one besides himself who knew Kuina for who she really was before she passed away.

"I-I miss her."

Zoro glanced over to Perona, hearing her voice so light and wispy scared him slightly, but he wasn't surprised to see the tears she's shed. He side, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and dragged her in to rest her head against his shoulder, "Don't cry."

"I-I'm not crying, you big fat dumby," she sniffled, hurrying to clean herself up, "Th-This is j-j-just rain."

Her attempts to wipe away her visible pain grew impossible and she soon gave up to cry into Zoro's shoulder. He only sighed again, "Maybe another umbrella is in order then."

When Perona was feeling up to it, they held long conversations as they waited out the storm. They spoke of his life in Robin's care since Kuina's passing a year ago, how Perona was dealing with her father Mihawk working undercover somewhere top secret, how the Straw Hat name was spreading like wildfire throughout Seven Spout, and finally how Zoro's latest relationship ended.

"That guy was a jerk anyway."

"You're the one who set me up with him," Zoro grumbled.

"Because I thought you two would have hot sex as like a one-night-stand type of thing. I didn't realize he'd get so clingy."

Zoro snorted, "Do you imagine me sleeping with other guys often?"

"Well, I'm not gonna lie-"

"What?! I was only joking!"

Perona laughed, failing to hide it behind her hand as she's done since the day they've met. But the more she laughed, the more Zoro loosened up and started chuckling along. Afterall, he'd be lying if he said he didn't image undressing a random stranger on the street from time to time.

After she composed herself, she stood with a sigh, picking up her raincoat as she went. "I have to get back to work. My ten minute break was over thirty minutes ago."

Zoro stood as well, and was caught in a tight hug not a moment later. "Don't be a stranger."

"Alright," Perona laughed, walking backwards towards the parking lot. "And call me when you want to be with girls again. You have a waiting list back at my place."

Zoro smirked, "I don't _do_ girls."

Turning around, Perona flipped him off over her shoulder without a second glance, "Oh, I know!" And with that, she escaped over the hill and out of his sight - sadly, she took her bubbly happiness and warmth with her, turning his world back to grey.

Despite the clearing cry, Zoro felt like it had started raining all over again - that all over again he was reminded of the accident, of the missing yellow flowers, of the ach and burn in his chest, and all over again, he sat down, but this time - seeking _her_ as shelter from his imaginary storm.

He faced her headstone now, his forehead leaning against the cold marble as he sighed. "Sorry for not bringing you flowers today," he muttered. "They ran out."

The wind shifted, but he payed no mind.

"This storm wasn't too bad this time, and you had both Perona and I with you, so hopefully you were just fine listening to our bullshit instead."

Something landed in his hair, but he didn't shake it away.

After another moment of silence, he spoke again, "You're probably tired of hearing this but, I really do miss you Kuina and I would do anything to get you back… I really hope you know that Big Sister."

Something else left into his lap, but he kept his eyes closed.

He chuckled, "Can you even hear me, up there? Because I'm really trying to break through to you but I feel nothing. Can you give me a sigh or anything? Can you… Can you touch my shoulder? Play with my hair like you used to? Something to know you're getting this, please."

He sat there is silence, letting a minute pass by. Then three, then five. And finally ten before he opened his disappointed eyes, but disappointment could not be kept in the forefront of his mind forever. Before he realized it, he was smiling, glancing around at all the yellow rose petal surrounding her grave, but some still had yet to fall as the wind carried him.

Overthrown with joy at this magnificent sign, Zoro stood and tracked where the petals were originating from. Just over the hill and past a few more headstones was a wake taking place, but the huge wreath of yellow roses was not what caught his attention. It was the male, around his age, with the same shade of yellow to color his long disheveled hair.

Only for a moment did the sun peek over the clouds, but when the light shined on the male below it was like an angel embraced his shaking frame and Zoro couldn't help but turn around and laugh at his sister's headstone.

"So this is it? This is your sign, your final wish is for me to meet this guy?"

The smile on his face faded when he turned back around to see the male on the ground, shaking uncontrollably - a familiare position he's seen Kuina in a million times in the past. It was second nature to rush to her when this happened, but for Zoro to break into a sprint right on the spot - towards a stranger - was something else entirely, especially since he felt this sense of immediate urgency while he was doing so.

But that wasn't the only thing while he called down to the people below, it was paranormal to say the least - considering he hasn't felt her presence anywhere since she left - but as soon as his eyes met the blond teen's, he felt her presence with the both of them.

He felt _her_ hand on his shoulder and _her_ voice in his ear, " _Careful… He'll break like glass."_

He wanted to turn around, to try and catch her wrist before she left him forever, but he couldn't find it within himself to let go of the male now in his arms. Perhaps it was time to let her go, maybe this was her way of trying to get him to move on - a trade.

A passed loved one, for a future loved one.

He chuckled, finally accepting things for how they should've been since the beginning. He decided to say something, anything, to distract himself from the overwhelming happiness within his heart, "Shit," he chuckled, "You're freezing, Curly Brow."

But his voice, though stuttered and slightly horse, was something he wasn't expecting to be so inviting of his flurry of emotions. "Wh… Who you callin'... C-Curly Brown? S… Stupid Mar-Marimo."

His heart ached and chest burned, but not for the reason they had been for the past year. Something within himself told him to hold the blond closer, that he must hold him tighter before he falls apart - but another part of him was afraid to break him.

They just met - and were still strangers - but oh, how he already hates the moment he must let him go.

Kuina, he thought - holding the blond closer, I don't know exactly what you want me to do here. But I'll say beside him. Promise.


	7. Part: 7

" _Th-They're so mean, Zoro. Just a bunch of assholes."_

" _Want me to go beat them up for you, Kuina?"_

" _Don't make me laugh. A little boy can't beat them. You can't even win against Perona."_

" _Okay, then I'll get strong and protect you from all the bullies."_

" _Promise?"_

" _Promise."_

Zoro rose from bed, his hand gripped his throat as his breathing labored and his heart thundered. He choked on his dry throat, coughed a few times then swallowed the forming lump down. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes from choking but they quickly dried as his breathing grew to nothing but short pants.

He sighed, relieved to be pulled from _that_ dream, and fell back into the fluff of his pillow. He slung his arm over his eyes with an exhausted groan. Conis was going to have a field day next week… if he tells her, that is.

Not wanting to brood over the dream, Zoro searched his mind for anything else to fall asleep to but he soon found himself wide awake with transparent wisps of Sanji in the back of his mind. His eyes darted to the blue digital clock on his nightstand, four thirty - eight hours since he's last seen him but it felt like eight years.

He was so distressed, he was able to wreck the Wreck Room, smash windows, topple over broken shelves, kick holes in the walls. It turned into such a hazardous place after he was finished that even Franky had to call the room off limits with yellow crime tape since there was no longer a door. Franky even thanked Zoro for calming Sanji when he did because he would've destroyed the whole third floor at the rate he was going. He would've found his strength impressive like the others if he didn't know it reflected how much pain his soul was carrying.

At the end of everything, Sanji concluded his rampage by falling asleep standing in Zoro's tight embrace; and though Sanji's arms grew lax around his neck, Zoro couldn't let him go even after he carried him to his room. He was able to convince Franky to let him watch over him incase he needed to be calmed again - which wasn't hard in the slightest - and thus laid with Sanji until it grew time to leave.

He was conscious of the fact that Sanji might not feel so delighted to wake up to Zoro laying beside him, so he tried to busy himself with covering the busted window and sweeping the glass off the floor, but those chores were quickly completed and he soon found nothing else to do _but_ lay with him.

They did, however, get into a little dispute when Sanji woke up. Sanji called him a pervert, which Zoro couldn't really argue against, but then Zoro countered with the fact that Sanji wasn't trying to run away or push him back. Sanji in turn ended the little discussion by calling him an asshole and telling him to fuck off, but he still didn't move and seemed to fall into an easier slumber with his face shoved into his collarbones. The entirety of the quick conversation was just a whisper and a tension free settlement despite what their words may have implied.

They weren't friends, haven't seen enough of each other to be labeled acquaintances, either; but Zoro couldn't stop this feeling of knowing him his entire life. It was warm inside his chest where his heart was usually stone, it sent his nerves blazing, making them yearn to touch him and pull him closer. Sadly, he didn't have an excuse to do anything more but wrap a lazy arm around his back and watch his golden hair glow in the setting sun. But when Sanji started weeping in his sleep, he found the excuse. There was no hesitation when he tangled their legs together, no hesitated as his other arm slipped under Sanji's head to serve as a pillow and tangle his fingers in his hair. There was no hesitation as he pulled him closer to his chest and rested his chin on the crown of his head.

His heart was thumping away in those moments as Sanji's fists gripped his shirt, whatever was in his nightmare couldn't be stopped, but Zoro refused to wake him in order to keep him held flush to his chest. He was selfish in making Sanji suffer through his nightmare alone just to hold him, but those thoughts passed when his weeping ceased moments later and he was back in a peaceful state of mind.

Sadly, that was also the moment Robin came in and told him his time was up. Luckily, Sanji didn't wake up when Zoro removed himself from the small twin mattress but he couldn't help the heart wrenching feeling when he watched Sanji's hands subconsciously search the now empty side of the bed he was on.

Zoro sighed, breaking himself from his thoughts as he glanced at the clock again. Only two minutes have passed but his narrow window of falling back asleep closed long ago. With a stiff groan, he sat up once again, stretched his arms over his head to hear the satisfying pops of his shoulders and stood from his bed. The pant legs of his sweatpants had bunched around his knees but as he crossed the room, they fell back to his ankles and sagged at his hips. He didn't bother with a shirt as he stepped into the hall, the obnoxious snores from Luffy's room filling his ears he ignored him and wondered down the hall. His feet scraped against the chilled wood floors until they were met with the soft texture of the living room through carpet. Franky tried to get Robin to instal real carpeting when she first moved in, but she said the wood panels give the place character - and, in Zoro's opinion, weren't a pain in the ass to keep clean.

"He lives."

Zoro's tired gaze turned to the two girls laying on the couch. Nami was sitting up, her back to the arm rest with her legs across the couch and spread out for Vivi to sit between them. Nami's comforter wrapped around them as a bowl of popcorn sat in Viv's lap. He quickly concluded Vivi was the one to speak as she giggled.

He gave a curt nod and slight smile as his eyes closed, "Princess." He couldn't deny his body felt weighed down with the shadow of sleep but his mind wouldn't let him drift.

Vivi giggled again as he watched Nami's arms tighten around her torso, a smile gracing her face - nothing able to break her good mood, not even Zoro's sudden appearance.

"Normally you're not up until four thirty _P.M._ on a Friday." Her smile faded slightly as a glint of concern flashed in her hazel eyes. Zoro sighed, knowing here this was going and stalking into the kitchen. He grabbed the milk and drank from the carton as Nami continued. "Are the nightmares back?"

Zoro swallowed down a large gulp of milk, wiped his mouth with the back of his arm, and then put it back in the fridge exactly how it was before. It was none of her business, but he also poked into her life from time to time. They've been living in the foster system together since they were children, to say their bond was nothing would be heart breaking.

He didn't look at her as his eyes swept the fridge for nothing in particular, but he cold feel her gaze and nodded in reply.

She sighed, "I there anything I can do?"

Zoro chuckled as he closed the fridge. Nami has also lost someone dear to her, two someones actually, but she still puts others before herself - if she isn't occupied obsessing over money, that is. "That's what Conis is for."

"She is helping at all? I heard she can be a little… forward," Vivi chimed, turning down the volume to the movie to heard Zoro better.

Zoro chuckled, "I'm not sure if that's the correct word for it." He walked around the back of the couch, lifted Vivi's legs and sat before lowering them onto his lap. He rubbed his tired eyes when the tv screen became to bright from him to handle.

"But those damned red rubber boots," he scowled. "It's like she's purposely trying to remind me of… that time."

"Want us to take them?" Vivi giggled.

"Yeah," Nami smiled. "We'll break in, steal them, and then burn them."

He watched Vivi's face fall and eyebrows frown before she leaned her head back against Nami's shoulder and look up at her, "Wait, burning rubber is bad-"

Nami quickly shushed her with a quick peck on the lips, "Sh," she cooed, "No one has to know."

Zoro chuckled at the pair. They've been dating for a long time, ever since they met actually. Vivi moved to Seven Spout in elementary school and transferred into Nami's class. Right away they hit it off because Nami was fascinated with hearing stories about the richest country, Alabasta Kingdom from Vivi.

Since they've met they've been an idiom, sneaking around to be together since Vivi's father was strict on age appropriate dating; but as soon as Vivi turned fifteen, and came out to her father with Nami at her side, his reaction to the two was nothing either could've predicted. Nami still jokes with Vivi about how her father ordered pizza and started playing Katy Perry's " _I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It"_ by playing the song and ordering the same pizza from that night every once in awhile.

Zoro doesn't know Vivi, but he knows Nami and knew her during her worst time, he couldn't be more thankful that she was able to see the light within Vivi and break from her darkness.

Zoro chuckled, looking away as Nami fed the pouting Vivi a popcorn puff. "Why don't you two just get married already?"

"Ha!" Nami huffed, accidentally dropping the puff on Vivi's chin to fall down her shirt. Without even thinking, Nami reached after it and ate it anyway. Vivi didn't seem to mind and giggled. "I will as soon as you marry that Sanji guy from earlier today. Like seriously, what was _that_ all about?"

Zoro felt his face heat up, his muscles tense, and his back break into a cold sweat. He scratched the back of his neck and refused to meet her eyes, "Did you walk in on us?"

He glanced over to find Vivi and Nami staring at him wide eyed and he suddenly realized he over shared. Before he could take back his question Nami yelled, even her cheeks were reddening, "Was there something to walk in on?!"

"No, no, no, no!" Zoro gaped in horror. He never wanted to have this conversation ever again, not after Luffy's first wet dream. "Nothing like that! We just fell asleep, nothing else, I swear!"

Vivi giggled at the pair, quickly shushing both of them as to not wake up the entire house and the neighbors. Once they were both somewhat calm, Vivi laid back down on Nami and smiled at Zoro, "So you have a boyfriend?"

"What? No," Zoro shook his head. "Nothing like that." Though he secretly wished…

He sighed, "I don't even know if he swings that way."

"Dude," Nami smiled, "I asked because when you came back down, you were glowing with happiness. _Glowing._ It was like you just met the love of your life."

Zoro was reminded of that feeling of his heart fluttering and he couldn't help but feel it again when Sanji's sleeping face crossed his mind. He didn't realise a small smile had slipped onto his face until he heard Vivi gape up at him.

"Oh God," she gasped, "He _is_ glowing."

"How long have you two know each other?" Nami asked, an all knowing smirk on her face as she said, "You ran up to check on him pretty fast when Usopp said he was having a rough time."

Vivi awed.

Zoro sighed, trying to tame his blush. This conversation was no longer avoidable. "I met him the other day." He knew better than to tell them where and how - he didn't want them thinking Sanji was someone too broken to be fixed and too glum to hang with.

"Where? How?" Vivi asked. They were both more interested with Zoro than the movie now, but from walking in earlier, they weren't all that interested in the film to begin with.

He thought quick, "In the park. We just ran into each other and got talking."

"Oh, please don't tell me he obsesses over staying fit, too," Nami groaned.

Zoro couldn't help the small glare he threw her way, but then his gaze softened as he recalled the blond's abs rolling over his own when he was trying to calm his panic attack. They weren't as prominent as his own but they were there, oh God did they mold nicely to his own.

Vivi's giggled brought him from his thoughts. "I think we lost him."

"What?" he questioned.

"Nothing," they both laughed.

"But, I'll take that as a yes," Nami chuckled.

"He's smitten," Vivi teased.

Zoro found it time to leave before they could get anymore out of him. He lifted Viv's legs and stood before setting them back down. "I'm going to head out for a bit."

Nami knew it was because he never can go back to sleep after have _that_ nightmare and so he visits his sister's grave, but she couldn't help but tease, "To go see your boyfriend?"

"No," Zoro called from his room, confident he heard them as he put on a loose black shirt then a light grey zip up. He traded out his sweatpants for his usual black cargo pants and slipped on his boots before exiting his room and entering the living room again.

"What should I tell Robin if you aren't back before she wakes up?"

He crossed the foyer and grabbed his house keys from the hook. "She's it."

"Alright. Have fun," Nami smiled, finally turning the volume back up on their movie.

"Don't get lost," Vivi giggled just as he closed the door.

He rolled his eyes as he locked the deadbolt and started walking down the graveled road.

It was still dark, the sky a mixture of dark purples and blues, but the moon was full and accompanied by the bright stars. His vision wasn't too strained as he wandered down the path but as he came to a divide he stopped. Pulling out his phone, he unlocked it and brought up his notes. They were mostly directions to the most mundane places around town like the dojo where he worked after school, the local produce market, and many more but the two he looked most at were the Franky Family estate and Kuina's graveyard. He hasn't had to look at his directions for Kuina's place for a while now, it all absorbed into muscle memory by now but he still had trouble dedicating the Franky house in the same way.

He looked to his phone and flicked between the two destinations. Kuina was the path to the left, fourteen blocks - fifteen to twenty minutes - away. Sanji on the right, eleven blocks - five to ten minutes - away.

He looked up from his bright screen, heading to the left before he slowed and stopped after five steps. He looked back to the path on the right and couldn't find it within himself to move in either direction.

He always visited her after a nightmare, always. But he promised her he'd look after Sanji, what if he's having another nightmare and can't wake himself from it?

He walked back to the intersection, looking back and forth between the two options.

Left or right?

He looked at the time on his phone, four fifty. Robin will be rising with the sun, if he's going to go anywhere, immediately would be the best time to decide, but…

Kuina or Sanji?


	8. Part: 8

His head low, hands in his pockets, and earbuds in, he paid no mind to the gravel crunching and grinding under his boots as he walked. He sighed, his thoughts everywhere else but the blaring rock band assaulting his ear drums.

 _Am I doing the right thing?_

 _Did I make the right choice?_

He stepped from gravel to smooth sidewalk, his new path illuminated by towering street lights - some dimmer than others, some flickered more than others, some not even working anymore - but he didn't pay it any mind. As he walked, he knew that not even the brightest of the dull street lights could shoo away the lurking shadows in the alley ways or gated shop windows. He knew that not even the sun could fade all the dread skulking in those deep corners of the world - but his mind was not on the surrounding darkness.

 _I want to hold his hand._

He wanted to steal a glance that he knew wouldn't be returned. He wanted to walk side by side, put an end to his hesitant steps and pull him along by his fingers that he knew would feel like silk. He wanted to reassure him with a smile, a smile that he knew would not be returned, but a smile that told him he was going to protect him from the eyes in the windows, from the fists on the doorknobs, and from the words on their tongues.

 _I want to tell him I can't stop thinking about him._

"Z-Zoro?"

 _If only he were actually here…_

Zoro's eyes snapped up to find Rika a few yards ahead of him and he immediately pulled out his earbuds. Seeing her alone in the dark made him jog towards her but it was the scared expression that made him concerned - and made him forget his thoughts. She was sitting under the bright porch light of her flower shop in nothing but her pajamas so Zoro wasn't surprised to find her frame shivering and lips purple.

He wasted no time shrugging off his coat and wrapping it around her stiff shoulders. He sat beside her as she quickly pulling it on, but then lifted her onto his lap and smothered her in a warm hug.

"What the hell are you doing outside?" His voice was sharp, the cold air nipping at his bear arms and neck, but concern washed out the edge.

"G-G-Got kicked o-out again."

Zoro noticed the unfamiliar car parked on the curb, the only car.

His arms wrapped around her tighter, trying to stop her shivering, trying to protect her from a momentary breeze as best he could, but she only tensed up more and her teeth raddled harder.

"Why didn't you call?"

"I tr-tried," she stuttered. "N-No time be-be-"

She stopped talking, a stronger breeze having stolen the words from her throat. Zoro could feel her diaphragm condense, she's too cold to talk anymore. He can't leave her here, can't keep her outside any longer, either, and in a snap his objective changed.

Zoro zipped the sweat shirt along her spine, not questioning why she put in on backwards and pushed down the baggy middle to cover her feet. He unwrapped his arms from her momentarily to lift the front of his T-shirt over her head and the rest of her body before holding her in place and standing. Rika's head popped out of the neck opening as she giggled. "Y-You stink more th-than usual."

It's sad that he's found her outside and like this more than once, it's also sad that she's grown used to being shoving in Zoro's shirt while he was still wearing it - but he'd do anything to make sure she's okay and found himself smiling as he noted she no longer shivered as badly.

"Are you sure that's not you?" He pressed his nose to her hair as he walked back from where he came. His nose scrunched together, "Few, you need a bath."

She only giggled.

As Zoro walked, Rika fell asleep. Her breathing was even and cold against his neck, but warmer compared to the chilly morning air. Her fingers and toes were cold against his chest but at least she has stopped shivering. A breeze came as he stepped from concrete to gravel, she stirred, then rested once more. He couldn't help but wonder how long she had been sitting there before he stumbled across her. Normally, when she called, it was around eleven or twelve but it was at least around four-thirty in the morning. He dared not think about what could've happened if someone else had walked by instead.

The return of the gravel crunching and grinding under his boots awoke his previous thoughts - the ones before he saw Rika - and he couldn't help but chuckled. Seems like he has a knack for shoving people into his shirt without asking. All of the times he's done it has an excuse to go along with it, of course, he's not some pervert; but he wouldn't mind shoving Sanji into his shirt like this some time. It would just be them, chest to chest again. Both their heartbeat audible to the other, a secret morse code to signal how they feel towards each other.

His heart fluttered with just the idea of being that close to Sanji again, but his thoughts were lost when he came upon Robin's home to find almost all the lights on.

When he entered the house, he found everyone - Robin, Nami, Vivi, even Luffy - standing around the dining room table. The girl's worried expressions and Luffy's confusion one turned to greet him as he walked through the door. He stood there puzzled. "Who died?"

Luffy pointed to his bulging stomach. "Why are you pregnant?"

"It's Rika." Zoro walked over to the couch and removed the sleeping girl to swaddle her in Nami's abandoned comforter and lay her on the soft cushion. He stood straight and crossed his arms. "Now my question."

Robin frowned, "Franky's new tenant is missing."

Zoro's heart dropped.

"A couple minutes ago, the boys called and told us," Nami bit her thumb nail. "They're on their way to give us more details."

Zoro's eyes darted to the stove clock. The green numbers read 4:50 A.M. He was only gone for twenty minutes but it only takes one to kidnap somebody. He shook the thought away as soon as it came. No, he can't just assume, Sanji doesn't seem like the kidnapped type despite his gloomy state. But still, the situation was surreal.

He could feel the shocked expression on his face as he spoke, "We _are_ talking about Curly Brow, right?"

He had to made sure.

"Yes!" Luffy hissed, "Keep up, Zoro. Our newest crew mate is missing, taking it more seriously."

"Newest crew mate?"

"That's not important right now," Nami sighed, rubbing her forehead with the tips of her fingers. "Crew mate or not, he's under Franky's watch which makes him our responsibility, as well."

"Nami's right," Robin nodded, but Zoro could see her amused smirk. "We'll save your boyfriend, Zoro. Don't worry."

"He's not my-!" Zoro caught the disturbed look on Rika's face and quieted his shouts. When she appeared peaceful again, he glared at Robin and whispered, "We're just friends."

"Whatever," Vivi giggled, echoed by the other's silent chuckles as she walked around the couch to sit in front of Zoro, beside Rika. He watched her comb through the girl's hair as she whispered, "But I don't think Rika will appreciate being woken up by a worried group of rowdy boys when they arrive. How about you guys go meet with them outside and I'll look after the flower girl."

"Smart thinking," Robin smiled.

"Careful," Luffy warned, "if you stick your finger in her mouth when she snores, she _will_ bite."

Zoro glared at Luffy, walking towards the door to grab another coat from the wrack. "Why do you know that?"

Luffy looked away and pursed his lips, "No reason."

Nami stood in front of the door, everyone but Vivi and Rika coated and standing behind her. When she opened the door, they were met with the surprised faces of Franky, Brook, and Usopp - who had his knuckles raised and ready to knock on the door. Before they could say anything, Nami pushed through and they all gathered in Robin's driveway.

"Why are we still outside? It's freezing," Usopp whined, running his hands over his arms.

"Rika's here," Robin smiled.

"Why?" Franky frowned. Not too long ago, Child Services asked Franky to take in Rika for a few weeks after she was abused by a man her mother brought into the house. Luckily, the event wasn't too harsh and she wasn't traumatized but Child Services and Franky had no other reason to keep her away from her parent and had to give her back. The Straw Hat gang mainly put Rika's flower shop under their strict custody to sooth Franky worries -but she was bailing Zoro out of jail way before that.

Zoro sighed, "It's been a rough night."

Brook nodded, "You can say that again."

Robin stepped forward, "What time did you discover Sanji missing?"

"We called as soon as we knew for certain, so ten minutes ago," Franky said. "We left Chopper there to man down the fort in case he comes back."

"What time do you think he left?"

"Well, I had sure to keep a tight watch on his door just incase he had another episode, but as soon as I get up to piss and come back, he's gone."

Zoro felt his muscles relax a little as he looked between the adults. "Then he can't be far." Ten minutes walking won't get you anywhere in Seven Spout, not even out of Peer One.

"He took my bike," Usopp added, a hint of defeat in his voice and the strain in Zoro's muscles returned in no time. Usopp bike wasn't a normal bike, it wasn't a motorcycle either, but Franky modeled it after one to help the long nose get from one end of the city to the other on time. He was a pizza delivery boy most days.

Shit. If Sani really wanted to get somewhere fast and far, he's already gone.

Zoro grinded his teeth, "Then why the hell are we still standing here? Call the cops and tell them a high risk D-n-S escaped."

Despite being one of the most powerful gangs in Seven Spout, police officers can't ignore a call for help but _can_ be bribed to not rat them out to their Admiral.

"And what if we do?" Nami sighed, "They'll want to come inside only to see a child who doesn't belong in this house. They'll think we kidnapped her no matter what we say."

Every Admiral and Child Services unit in Seven Spout has a list of who lives in the Franky Family house and the Robin's Nest house. They haven't entirely annihilated the Straw Hat gang because no other foster system will take in the teens and it's not like they do anything but beat the crap out of other gangs in the city. Their power is unnerving, but not unwelcome. Which makes Nami's point so vital, the Admiral's are waiting for the Straw Hats to slip up, if they see Rika and assume the worst… all hell will break loose.

"Shit," Zoro growled.

"Did he leave behind a note?" Luffy asked.

"No note," Usopp sighed.

"Oh shit," Zoro gaped, realization dawning on him. "If an officer spots him first, mandatory house check is insured."

All of Franky's weapons have so far been hidden from the cops, but not for long if they do a sweep before the actual house check date.

"I know," Franky frowned. "We need to find him immediately."

"Wait, Usopp," Brook hummed, "Didn't you place a tracking chip on your bike not too long ago?"

Usopp stood there for a good minute, the look of realization crossing his mind before he turned back to Brook, "I forgot about that until now-"

Zoro grabbed the front of his hoodie and pulled him close as Nami and Luffy flanked him, "You Idiot!" all three yelled.

In Franky's three row van, Franky drove while Robin sat passenger, Nami, Ussop, and Luffy sat in the middle row (in that order), and Zoro and Brook took up the very back. Zoro doesn't normally get motion sick, but when Franky's driving and Zoro feels like he's in the back of a roller coaster instead of the back of the car, he could go for a barf bag any time.

Germa City was twenty minutes away from Seven Spout but according to Usopp's tracker on his iPhone it took Sanji less than fifteen to get there and according to the speedometer of Franky's van, they were going to arrive in less than five minutes - much to Zoro's pleasure.

"Take a right on Edd's Street," Ussop said. "The bike's stopped just on the border of Germa City."

"Germa City?" Nami gaped, "Isn't this where some Nobles live?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. Of course, Nami would know the name of all the rich city's surrounding Seven Spout. He hanestly wouldn't be surprised if she luted a few houses here and forgot the name of the place until now.

"We can walk down memory lane later, Nami," Usopp sighed, remembering being suckered into those missions. "Right now, we need to find Sanji before a Noble does."

"Fork in the road, Usopp," Franky called. "Left or right."

Usopp looked to his phone, "Left."

The van sped forward once more.

Zoro couldn't help but wonder why Sanji decided to stop in Germa City of all places. If he get caught by a Noble, he'll be living the rest of his life behind bars. Unless he ditched the bike…

Zoro's heart spiked and he turned to Usopp, "How much gas was in your tank?"

Usopp smiled, "Don't worry, Zoro. Sanji's little joy ride wouldn't have emptied out the chamber until he got to Logue Town" - that was another hour away - "You can still ride the bike back once we get him."

That wasn't the reason why he was asking but he still felt assured. So then it's confirmed, he thought, Sanji chose this specific place.

"Awe, Usopp! You never let me ride the bike!"

"Why do you think I put the tracker on it in the first place?"

"Oh! I thought the name was familiar!" Franky exclaimed and Robin hid her chuckle behind her hand.

"What?" Brook asked, pulling down his large head phones. Zoro could faintly make out Jimi Hendrix through the thick foam ear muffs. Brook must be car sick too if he's listening to Jimi Hendrix.

"Sanji's phial," Franky said, "I forgot that he's from around here. His old man and him run a five star restaurant in these parts."

"Sanji's loaded?" Nami gaped.

"Yeah." Franky's face fell as he continued driving. "But I don't know why he'd want to ever come back."

Did Sanji's trama start here?

"What do you mean?" Zoro asked and for a split second, he caught Franky's eyes in the rear view mirror. There was something in them, something… haunting.

He didn't give a replay.

"Turn on Jeffries' place," Usopp said, "It's a one way street. Building 451 is where the bike is-"

The tires screeched in Zoro's ear drums, skidding against the asphalt, making the safety belt stab into his stomach and slip from his shoulder to choke his neck. When the van came to a complete stop, Zoro was whiplashed back upright and smacked the back of his head against the headrest hard enough to make his ears ring. He coughed once or twice to regain normal access of his air way before panting with the rest of the disordered group.

Zoro looked around to see Brook clinging to the back of Luffy's chair as to not smash his face into it while Usopp wasn't as much and was face first into the center console between Franky and Robin - who sat perfectly fine. As for Nami and Luffy, Luffy wasn't wearing his safety belt and ended up on the flood of the van while Nami was entirely hunched over and hanging in between her legs.

"E-Everyone alright?" Franky asked.

Everyone only groaned in reply.

"Super," Franky groaned back.

"Why'd you slam on the breaks like that?!" Nami screamed, "You could'a rolled us!"

"It seems," Robin sighed, "we can only continue on foot from here."

Zoro pered over Usopp's seat and out the front windshield and flt his eyes widened. Car after car was abandoned in the middle of the road, their driver side doors and some with their trunks left open. Whateven happened here, isn't good.

"Nobles?" Brook asked, just as surprised as the rest when they saw the same scene.

"I've never seen no Noble do this before," Franky sighed.

There was a loud explosion just up ahead, washing organ flame over the hood of the car and windshield, so loud and sudden Robin's scream was louder than Nami's and she even grab Franky's hand on the stick shift.

They sat there in awe for a couple minutes, trying to wrap their brains over what the hell was happening and why Sanji seemed to be involved.

"Damn," Usopp muttered, "The chip's jacked."

Zoro blinked from his daze, "We lost his location?" He peered over Usopp's seat to find his iPhone screen was turned on to its map setting, only the red ping that was just in front of them before was gone now.

"Yeah. Time to go on foot."

Reluctantly, all of them exited then car and followed closely behind Luffy, Zoro, and Nami - the Straw Hat's front line in any battle field, but this was different than any Turf War they've faced. In a Turf War, the place to fight is established by the two Captains before hand so each gang has an equal chance to get a feel for the ground and win; but here, it was as though the apocalypse suddenly rained down on them out of nowhere.

"In to the Hell Fire we go," Robin chuckled uneasily.

"D-Don't say that, Robin," Usopp sobbed.

Robin clung to Franky's side, standing inside the small circle with Ussop beside her and Brook defending them from the other side. Robin and Usopp are not ground runners like the rest of them are. They are what make up the brain of the group, they tell them strategic plans and stay hidden. Robin talks to everyone to tell them where their next enemy will be coming from while Usopp shoots back up for anyone who's cornered. They're both snipers literally and figuratively, but today they are ground control.

"We'll be okay." Luffy said, his tone deep and serious. "Try your best not to separate. Sticking together is what'll keep us alive."

There are some points where Luffy can be highly effective in protecting anything at any costs if he's thrown into battle unexpectedly, but that's on the rare occasion - such as today.

By now, is was 5:10 A.M., with no glimmer of light from the sky. Only the blazing grass and car engines provided any source of light. It seemed like a ghost town until they found a sea of bodies.

"Dead?" Brook whispered.

Zoro bent down and touch his fingers to the side of a man's ashy neck. He didn't know how he would've reacted if he had found no pulse. "Unconscious."

They kept moving.

Finally, when they crossed the sea of unconscious and ash covered men, they turned down a connecting street to find the bike standing upright on its kickstand, but most importantly Sanji fighting the last man left standing and they all stared at him in awe.

Zoro watched Sanji move easily, dodging the man's left handed strike.

He lept and planted one foot in the guy's shoulder and pivots, using the other foot to kick him hard enough in the left wrist to make him drop his brass knuckles. The man's quick enough to react that Sanji isn't able to kick it completely away, but it's out of his range unless the guy wants to back up a hell of a lot or turn his back on Sanji.

The guy looks at Sanji like he just grew a second head. Well, that kind of shock would cost him time. Sanji takes his hands out of his pockets and puts his power into his hip, slamming his foot right into the guy's solar plexus and flinging him across the street with a smash.

The man leaps from one side of the courtyard to the other, down to one knuckle ring but a hell of a lot faster than Sanji had expected- SHIT! Sanji dodges but feels his shirtsleeve tear a little as the spikes pass him, that could have cut his arm off! Zoro watched Sanji expression harden.

The man jumps for him again and Sanji stands his ground, he uses a flexibility that Zoro has never seen before to duck under the man's remaining knuckle and plant his foot in his chest, then he twists, shifting his leg from straight vertical into an arc downwards into the floor. He slams the bastard into the stone slabs of the floor so hard that they shatter under him, his heel driven right into the man's solar plexus. He spots the twinge of the guy's knuckles, an attempt to punch Sanji in retaliation, so he redistributes his weight to the foot in the guy's torso and kicks his hand so hard that the knuckled spin across the street and embeds itself in a now not so neatly manicured hedge. He shifts his weight off of the guy's chest and pins one of his arms down with his other foot. If he wanted to he could break the man's ribs or at the very least his wrist.

Zoro watches Sanji lean over, putting most of his weight on the guy's wrist. The man below him winces in pain, but Sanji isn't finished, "I don't care who you bastards think you are, coming here and trashing my restaurant, but if I ever see your face around these parts again, you'll be leaving with more than just a few bruises."

Sanji stepped off of him and kicked him - not hard enough to hurt him further, but enough to get him moving. Then man scrambled to his feet and ran towards the Straw Hat ground, checking Zoro in the shoulder as he passed before Zoro punched him in the back of the head and knocked him out. Then, he was back to staring at Sanji in all his might glory.

"That…" Luffy gaped, "WAS AWESOME!"

Sanji seemed to break away from whatever thoughts were previously flouting through his mind and finally noticed the familiar group standing before him. When his eyes caught Zoro's he looked away immediately.

Luffy ran forward, jumping and fist pumping the air as he went while the other's seemed to take a breath and start walking towards the blond as well - leaving Zoro all alone to stare in awe. Not only was Sanji chosen by Kuina for whatever reason, Sanji was strong. He took down an entire army by himself, for crying out loud! He was never afraid of arguing, or fighting, or doing his own thing to protect the things he loves most - sure he may have been stuck in a rut when they first met the last few times, but not Zoro sees him in an entirely new light. A light so blinding and bright, it almost hurt to look.

 _I want to talk to him._

Zoro took a step forward.

 _I want to held his hand._

And another.

 _I want to hold him._

And another.

 _And kiss him._

And another.

 _And never ever let go._

And another.

"Oi, Marimo." Sanji's voice broke him from his thoughts, and he realized he was standing directly in front of him. "What's with that stupid look on your ugly mug?"

Zoro glared, but couldn't help the smirk pulling on the corners of his lips when Sanji smiled, making his words welcoming instead of insulting.

"I can say the same about those weird eyebrows, Curly."

Sanji stepped towards him, a flash of anger contorting his smile into an irritated smirk and Zoro matched his step with his own, head butting him with an equil smirt.

"What'd you just call me, Moss Head?" Sanji growled, but despite his obvious anger, Zoro can see something else entirely within his bright blue eyes. He was looking at Zoro as if he had knew him for hundreds of years, in the afterlife, and in past lives.

But Zoro could feel the same glint in his own eyes. And he knew Sanji understood. "You heard me, Dart Board."

"Okay, okay. Break it up," Franky chuckled, placing one hand on their of their chests and separating them. "No reason to kill each other just yet."

Sanji and Zoro remained the same all knowing smirks on their faces, remained eye contact as well as if they were both stuck in the other's trance. Honestly, it felt as though gravity was pushing them towards each other and Franky was the only thing standing in their way.

"Yeah, we have more important matters to discuss," Luffy smiled, "Like how you're joining our crew!"

Zoro watched whatever was in Sanji's eyes leave and become replaced with confusion. Sanji broke eye contact and looked to Luffy. "What?"

The gravity pulling them together was gone now, and Zoro stood straight instead of leaning against Franky's palm. There was a slight ping in his heart, but he ignored it and watched the conversation unfold.

"You're joining us," Luffy smiled brightly.

Sanji chuckled and looked back to Zoro, "He's not serious, right?"

Zoro nodded, "Oh, he's serious, all right."

"Let's go party in honor of our new crew member!" Luffy cheered, but Saji caught his shoulder before he could turn away without discussing this further.

"No, I'm not."

"Why not?"

"I can't join a gang."

"Why not?"

"Be-Because it's not sensible! That's why!"

"Well that's too bad, because you're already apart of it!"

"I refuse!"

"I refuse your refusal. Now let's go get some breakfast, I'm starving!"

"You can't just refuse a refusal!"

"But I just did."

Zoro laughed, caught Sani's glare, then cleared his throat before addressing Luffy. "Maybe an exchange is in order."

"Yeah, okay." Luffy nodded, then turned back to Sanji. "You're pretty good at cooking, so how about you cook for us and we do something for you in return. Anything you want."

Sanji stared at him for a moment, momentarily lost in thought before he turned around to face the big building he did everything he could to protect. Zoro looked up as well and from Franky's explanation in the van, he wasn't surprised to see a restaurant with big highlighter blue fluorescent lights sitting on the roof. It's elegant cursive letters spelling out the word 'Baratie'. This must be Sanji's restaurant.

Sanji turned back towards the group, a new determination in his eyes. "Fine. I'll join." Before Luffy could start cheering, Sanji held up his hand. "But only if you help me protect my restaurant from that bogs who want to burn it to the ground."

Zoro watched Luffy peered up at the building and watched something swim in his eyes. Did he notice how close Sanji holds this place to his heart?

After a minute, Luffy looked back to Sanji and smiled wide, "Let's go celebrate!"


	9. Part: 9

It was too early in the morning to go to any of their favorite restaurants, not to mention Chopper was still waiting for them at Franky's - and Vivi was still watching over Rika at Robin's, so they went back to Franky's and sent Nami to Robin's to invite Vivi and Rika over.

Currently, Franky was helping Luffy, Chopper, Usopp, and Brook set up the XBox in the living room while Robin supervised Sanji and Zoro in the kitchen - though, her supervision was distracted by the book she was reading and the coffee Sanji had made. Sanji was able to work around Robin - knowing she wasn't really paying attention, maybe tuning in here or there - but Zoro was different. He was hovering, practically glued to his side.

"You're too close, Moss head."

Zoro backed away, letting the small of his back hit the island counter before he fully stopped. He was still close, two strides away, putting Sanji a little more at ease, but he was still able to peer over his shoulder and watch everything he did.

"Why are you hovering?"

Zoro snapped from his daze, his gaze once entranced by his nimble hands as they minced onions. The blond didn't turn around, but Zoro still looked up to try and meet his gaze. "I'm not hovering."

Sanji looked over his shoulder, his hand never stopping the blade as his eyebrow quirked and a smirk pulled at his lips. "Really? _That's_ not hovering?"

Zoro grew unnerved, watching Sanji's blade chop closer and closer to his finger tips. He tried to look away but he couldn't. "Yeah. Now will you concentrate on what you're doing before you lose a fucking finger?"

"Language!" Franky called from the living room.

Robin chuckled before returning back to her book.

"Oh, you mean this?" Sanji's smirk grew, the - _chop, chop, chop-_ from the knife hitting the cutting board growing louder, faster.

Zoro watched in horror as the blade raised to chop once more, hovering over his fingertips. "Yes!"

The knife came down but before it could mince Sanji's index and middle fingers, in a flash the other half of the onion was in his hand and the process was started over again. Sanji laughed at Zoro's solemn glare and turned back to his work.

Zoro had half the mind grab Sanji's shoulders and make him cut off his own fingers, but he only shook his head and chuckled. "You asshole-"

"Zoro, seriously?" Franky called.

Robin chuckled once more.

Sanji grabbed the cutting board and scraped the onions into the oiled saute pan. Loud sizzles and pops immediately took over the kitchen. Sanji turned around as he stirred, facing Zoro with another smirk. "Strike two. Wanna try for three?"

Zoro growled.

The front door swung open, hitting the backstop before slamming closed, but Zoro paid no mind. The ocean breeze had a tendency of carrying it as someone entered the estate.

As Nami alone entered the kitchen, Sanji turned to her, "Everything alright?"

Nami poured herself a cup of coffee and sat next to Robin. "Yeah. Why?"

Zoro chuckled at Sanji's confused stare and faced Nami. "No Princess or Rika?"

"Eh," Nami shrugged. "I didn't have the heart to wake them."

"Criminal Minds reruns?"

"You got it."

Sanji added sliced potatoes to the pan, stirred, then joined the conversation. "Who's Vivi and Rika?"

"Nami's children."

Sanji choked on his coffee.

"Shut up!" Nami laughed, throwing the pepper shaker at his head. He caught it was ease and placed it up right on the counter, laughing.

Nami smiled, glaring at Zoro. "Rika's a girl from the neighborhood and Vivi's my-"

"Wife." Zoro nodded. "They're practically married."

"Will you stop," Nami laughed.

Sanji chuckled, turning back to the sizzling saute pan. "I get it. Vivi's your best friend."

"Mm, no. She's my girlfriend - but close. You almost had it."

Sanji froze, peering over his shoulder. "You're a lesbian?"

Nami's expression turned cold and distant. She set her coffee cup down and leaned back in her chair to cross her arms. She looked to Sanji as if he was pathetic trash."Got a problem with that?"

An intimidated shudder coursed through Sanji's entire being and he quickly through his hands. "No. No. Of course not!"

Nami's scowl turned dapper, her smile sweet and content with his response. "Good, because you're outnumbered, Pretty Boy." The redhead smirked, winked, and exited the kitchen with her coffee mug.

Robin snickered, glanced between Sanji and Zoro, then back to her book.

Nerves shot, Sanji returned to his cooking - stirring in chopped spuds to the oil and onion mix. "'Outnumbered'? What the hell does that mean?"

Zoro watched his hand glide to the small platter of salt - as if it was moving on its own accord - and pinch the white grains between his thumb and forefinger before sprinkling it into the pan. Blinking out of his daze, Zoro stepped forward, leaned his back against the counter beside Sanji and crossed his arms. He sighed. "You don't wanna know, really."

"She called me Pretty Boy."

Well, Zoro thought, she's not wrong.

Zoro's eyes grazed Sanji's face. His blue eyes sparkled with determination. His fair skin flushed from the heat of the stove. He almost laughed at how his stupid eyebrows coiled tighter with concentration. His high cheekbones, defined jaw line, even his sharp nose - Sanji was very attractive.

Squinting, Zoro looked closer. Are those freckles?

"Take a picture," Sanji smirked. "It'll last longer."

Snapping back to attention from being caught, Zoro laughed, covering his tracks. "Why would I want _your_ ugly mug taking up space on my phone?"

Sanji scraped raw bacon from the cutting board into the mix. Another round of loud sizzles and pops, but the cook was louder as he turned to face Zoro. Stirring the pot, Sanji glared with a grin. "Oh, I bet you'd look at it every night."

"Thinking of how to kill you."

"You _would_ get off on that, you sadist Marimo."

A jolt ran down Zoro's spine. He grinned, stepping closer. "You know nothing."

"Correction: Everything."

"You're a rat with fake confidence. Look, you're sweating. Nervous, little mouse?"

"Ever seen Ratatouille? It gets _hot_ in the kitchen. No place for fat cats."

"Child's play boars me."

"Says the child."

Zoro growled, standing straighter. "Taller means older, short stack."

"Okay, _old man_."

"Little runt!"

"Sadist."

"Crap cook!"

"Shitty muscle head!"

"Not you too!" Frankie yelled.

Robin giggled, peeking up from her book to watch the exchange. The boys were closer now, chest to chest, faces inches apart.

They ignored him.

"Curly Brow!"

"Grass Man!"

"Dart Board!"

"Marimo!"

Seething at one another, Sanji turned to the stove, angrily scooped a small bit of the mix onto the wooden spoon and turned back to Zoro.

"Taste!"

"Fine!" Zoro bit the spoon, yanking it in the firm grip of Sanji's hands but released it as the blond refused to let go so easily. Zoro chewed the hot food, but his mind was set on keeping his glare level with Sanji's instead of his burning tongue.

Sanji smirked, "I poisoned it. I hope you-" Sanji stopped, broke the glare and took a step back.

 _Die_. That was his next word… How could he think that? How could he almost say it when - Zeff's solemn face flashed through his mind. His cheeks pale and clammy, indented and boney. His cancer in its worse state before the bitter end. Moments before he left but he wasn't ready to go…

Sanji took another step back, dropping the wooden spoon, and stared through Zoro's chest. His own growing tight once again, the hole in his heart ripping at the seams - just as painful as the day he lost him.

Zoro watched Sanji's hand fly to his chest, fist the cloth over his heart, and grip the counter for support. Zoro jerked forward, ready to catch him before the cook caught himself and backed another few steps away.

Zoro swallowed the hot food, ignoring the pain as he opened his mouth to speak. "What's wrong?"

He watched as Sanji's eyes shifted between him and Robin, the woman no doubt holding the same concerned expression, but he didn't spare a second to check.

Sanji quivered where he stood, stuck in the memories within his head - the memories of Zeff's passing, before they shifted to the car, to the lightning, and the dark trunk.

Sanji's chest heaved, heart pounded as he watched himself reach of the wheel.

"Cook-!"

Sanji snapped from his baze, panicked, drowning in Depression once again, slamming into the reef of Insanity. "I-I," he stammered, his fist still clutching to his chest, "I need some air."

He took off, pushed through Robin and Zoro, walked out the kitchen, passed the loud living room, and up the steps he ran.

Anxiety clawed down his back in an attempt to hop on.

Fear clung to his ankles and dragged behind him.

But Dejection was eating away at his soul, splintering his heart with each aching thud.

In the mansion, he was lost, be he kept running in hopes to shake off Anxiety and Fear, kept climbing step after step to shake them loose and let go. Dejection, Depression's dog, can't be overcome with them around. Can't be tamed and put back into its cage with them gnawing at him too.

How could he wish someone to meet Death?

How could be ever want to witness another soul escape its person?

Life tricked him again, presented him with fake sanctuary until he, himself, had to fuck it all up! It found pleasure in his suffering, didn't it? It found delight in his darkness, joy in his breaking, fun in his forfeit. But it's greatest torture had to be Zoro, right? Presenting him with a being so caring and insist on helping only to set him up for rejection.

Now he knew, surely he knew just how damaged he really was, right? Worse than the panic attack, worse than the Wreck Room discrution, worse than his enraged defence. He's going to be staying away now, distancing himself, dismissive of all contact and conversation, right? Right? He's going to leave and never come back all because he fucked up _again_.

Sanji broke through a door at the top of some steps and instead of the rain and hail he was being pelted with, the warm sun rise golden glow blinded his eyes and made him stumble out and onto the roof.

He stood there, froze, for a good measure of time - finally feeling the tears rolling down his damp cheeks - until he started screaming, throwing little pieces of stone at the sun's beauty.

Life created the sunrises and sunsets, the moon, the stars, the plants, the ocean, but it also created the torture, and the pain, and the cancer in this world. Why did it not grant him some of nature's beauty, too? Why was he the ugly grey smudge in Life's wonderful painting?

"Cook!"

Strong arms wrapped around Sanji's chest, trapping his elbows to his sides as he continued to scream and kick, he hadn't realized how close to the edge he had come, but he couldn't find it within himself to care. If he falls, so be it - he's done with Life's tricks.

"Calm down, dammit!"

Sanji recalled the voice, Zoro, but he couldn't yet comply. He must curse and scream some more.

Struggling, Sanji sobbed. "Let me do this!"

Elbowing his way out of Zoro's tight grip, Sanji stumbled forward before commencing his screaming. "SCREW YOU!"

Zoro watched him closely, never forgetting his title as D-n-S of the house, and stood beside him before looking for what he was screaming at. He found nothing except the water and the sun, but then Kuina came to mind and how she used to do the exact same thing if she thought something was unfair and unjust.

Zoro gave a dry huff, a small smile pulling at his lips as the watched Sanji again. "I see," he muttered. "I get it now, Kuina."

"I HATE YOU!" Sanji yelled, wiping the tears and snot on the back of his coat sleeve.

Zoro lost his smirk and frowned at the sunrise too. Raising his hands, he flipped off the sky. "FUCK YOU!"

Sanji stopped, started at Zoro through his glassy vision, but when the moss head met his confusion with a knowing smile, Sanji replied with a grin of his own. They both turned back to the sun, both held their middle fingers high, and started again.

"KISS MY ASS!" Sanji screamed.

"GO TO HELL!" Zoro followed.

"STOP TORTURING ME!"

"STOP THE BULL SHIT!"

"I HATE YOU!" Sanji yelled louder than before, silencing Zoro altogether. Zoro watched Sanji's quivering hands ball into fists, watched his eyes clench shut, and his spine bend as he squeezed his lungs and shirked. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

Dizzy and out of breath, Sanji clamored to the ground - chest heaving once again, but not because he was sad once more. He wheezed because he was lighter, a weight extracted from his shoulders and being and soul. He was lighter, and light headed, but weightless.

Zoro's hand rested against Sanji's spine as he heaved, the warmth from his gentle touch soaking through his thin T-shirt and heated his soul. His voice was hoarse from yelling so much, but Zoro spoke as calm and even as he could. "Oi. Slow down. It'll be no good if ya pass out now."

Shifting into a sitting position, Sanji closed his eyes, tipped his head back, and rested his tingling limbs as he soothed his burning lunges. Coming to his senses, Sanji caught his breath and looked to the right to find Zoro sitting beside him, staring.

He chuckled, closing his eyes once more. Clearing his throat, he said: "You're hovering."

Zoro smirked. "You'll have to deal with it for the time being."

They sat in silence as Sanji's slight gasps of breath turned to nothing and they only watched the sunrise inches apart from one another.

Life brough Zoro to Sanji, that was curtain, but it's plan didn't work. Zoro didn't abandon him, he ran after him, and though he probably didn't understand why, he also fought with him and helped him gain the upper hand in a battle he's been fighting for years.

Smiling at his fact, Sanji turned to Zoro only to pause. The person before him was not wearing his usual frown and scowl, Zoro - for the first time that he's seen - was genuinely relaxing. His legs extended out, arms locked and behind his back to hold up his weight, his head resting back and up, soaking in the warm sunlight as thin wisps of green hair reflected gold, but what was more surprising was the ghost of a true smile pulling at his lips.

Sanji stared for a moment before smiling brighter. "Thank you."

Zoro's eyes opened, his scowl and frown back in place but his eyes still held the pease. "For what?"

"For not being a product of my psychosis."


	10. Part: 10

I have no fricken idea how is was in fricken "code mode" as someone put it, but THANK YOU for telling me other wise I would've never fricken known! HOPEFULLY, it's easier to read now.

 **...**

"And that's the whole story. Now you know." Sanji pressed his face to his knees, hugging himself tight as the morning sun rose over the horizon, painting everything a glittering gold that clashed with his dark grey feelings.

Zoro didn't respond for a while, too busy absorbing Sanji's sad tale of what it was like losing his father to cancer and finally having to watch him pass not even a week ago. Sanji admitted he was still raw about the wake and Tashigi's betrayal, but would never openly admit how much Zoro had helped him get through these last few days, especially not to his face.

"I see," Zoro finally hummed. "You were close."

Sanji didn't specify how close they were - how Zef saved him from horrendous foster systems and showed him how to put all of his fear and anger and love into making food - because then that would bring up the topic of the car crash before he met Zef. He can't remember everything that happened before the old man, but if it was so traumatic that he was placed in Franky's home instead of Robin's, he didn't want to remember.

Uncurling himself from his ball, Sanji stood, stretched his hands over his head and flex his toes. He was about ready to curse the sun again when he remembered the food down stairs.

The weight he tried to lift by telling Zoro his story was back. His spine tingled, his muscles tensed, and any traces of a smile that may have been there before were gone now. Turning on his heel, Sanji rushed to the door leading back inside.

"Shit!"

"O-Oi!" Zoro's voice was distant as Sanji flung himself down the steps, taking them two at a time. "Where are you going?"

"The food!" Sanji yelled over his shoulder, hearing Zoro's following footsteps thump loudly against each stair.

Sanji raised across the hall of the third floor and didn't bother slowing as he descended another set of steps. At least the fire alarms weren't going off.

Behind him, Zoro called: "What about the food?! Just start a new batch, nothing to get so worked up about!"

Something pinged in Sanji's heart, enlightened a fire within his soul. He wanted to stop and roundhouse kick his head, but he only gave a growl. "There's no waisting food when I'm around, Shit Head. Burnt to hell or salty as fuck, every last grain of rice will be consumed."

They reached the second story hall, Zoro right on his tail and descending alongside him as they reached the last set of steps.

"Another one of your Father's quick tips in the kitchen?"

"No. The old man doesn't mind as much as I do. Wasting food just irks my chain, and I'm not going to start doing in now just because of my shitty mood."

Didn't…

"For the love of - Language, you two!" Franky leaned into the view of the stair well to see what all the sudden noise was, only to be pushed back by Sanji who jumped the last step, swung around the railing and raced through the kitchen. Sadly, his little trick would've been much cooler if he hadn't tripped on the shoe mat and face planted against the white tile.

The room erupted in Zoro's rough laughter and Robin's muffled chuckles as Sanji laid there for a minute.

Franky turned to Zoro and choked down his own laughter. "What the hell just happened?"

"I don't know," Luffy called from the living room, laughing and wheezing just like the rest of them. "But that was awesome!"

Ignoring them, Sanji stood and stalked towards the stove where he hadn't realized Robin had taken his place. She had lowered the heat setting and started a continuous loop of stirring as she read over the stove, but now her lips were cracked in the faintest of smiles - trying to keep her composure and eyes glued to the page.

Sanji took the spoon from Robin's nimble fingers and graced her with a 'thanks' before she walked back to her spot at the island counter.

Before he could examine the damage, she said: "It's not burnt and I didn't add anything to it." she didn't lift her gave as she turned the page but a smile still pulled at her lips. "It's how it was before, but I did take most the baccon."

He looked back to the pan, then saw the bits of unevenly cooked bacon in a small bowl to the side.

"Chopper's a vegetarian. You'll have to add in the rest after giving him his share."

"Sorry!" Chopper called from the living room, then was drowned out by loud shooting from the XBox game.

Sanji resumed his position in the kitchen, happy that their laughter had subdued into how it was before with Luffy and Chopper screaming at the tv in the living room; Usopp and Franky's muttered laughter at their loss; Brook's quiet violine echoing through the vents from his room; and Robin's occasional slurp of coffee. He was almost brought back into his peaceful rhythm of stirring, tasting, and seasoning the food when loud high pitched, almost deafening screaming came from the back hall connected to the kitchen; but it only became louder as booming feet against hard tile floors ran to the kitchen. The noise was so sudden and so pitched that Sanji almost dropped the blazing pan onto the floor when he tried flipping the contents with more oil.

There was a thunderous CRASH as the screamer flooded the kitchen, flashing Sanji a cape of blue before another BOOM against the cabinets. Sanji tried to find it, his heart pounding because surely only a monster could make this noise; but as his eyes swept across the room, he was suddenly fixated on Zoro's vibrant smile. It was bright, warm, welcoming. He's never seen anything like it - hell, he didn't even know the Marimo could make such a face with his usual scowl!

Sanji watched Zoro lower into a crouch, only his shoulders and up visible from where Sanji stood across the island, and his smile only seemed to grow as the screaming turned into his name. "ZORO!"

He was plowed into by the unknown force, almost rocked back on his ass before he caught himself, and Sanji couldn't help but snicker at the thought. Then, in one swift motion, Zoro used his backward motion to stand and embrace - what Sanji thought to be a monster - into a tight hug. The young girl Zoro was holding couldn't be more than eight or nine, her hair in low pigtails and her makeshift blanket cape wrapped around the rest of her body. Her smile was just as bright as the puck looking teen holding her and he couldn't help but notice the sudden warmth in his heart.

"Hey, Shrimp! What're you doin' here?" Zoro laughed, pulling back to set the girl on the counter, next to Robin.

"The Princess and I were looking for you!" the girl beamed. "Did you get lost again?"

Zoro only laughed.

Robin looked up from her book. "So if Vivi's the princess, does that make you the Queen?"

"Sure does!"

From the hall the girl barreled through was another stranger to Sanji with a paper crown sitting on beautiful blue hair, a thin pink sheet wrapped around her hips as if it were a skirt and dragged behind her as she walked in. Her black tank top hugged her curves and showed a fading press on tattoo on her left collar bone.

Before Sanji could comment or even fully comprehend her beauty, Nami come sauntering in from the living room and into the kitchen. "I heard screaming. I'm guessing you found him."

The little girl nodded as the newcomer giggled.

Sanji watched Nami cross the kitchen, stalking towards the other teen before stopping just inches short and pecked her lips.

Honestly, Sanji didn't know how to respond after seeing two beautiful ladies kiss right in front of his with no shame; but he held it together nonetheless.

Kinda.

He quickly turned back to his food before his brain could take him to wild thoughts. Flipping the pan up to mix the food, Sanji cleared his throats.

"Oh!" The newcomer's voice was light and airy - down to earth and kind of shy. Sanji couldn't help the glance as she continued. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

Sanji tried not to look too directly into her honey toned eyes as he turned to greet her properly. "It's alright," he put on his best smile. "I'm Sanji by the way."

He watched her face go from pleased to surprised as she turned to Nami and gaped at Zoro. "So this is the infamous Sanji?"

Sanji turned to the others, wanting to see what she was looking for in their expressions. Nami only smiled and nodded, but Zoro instantly looked mortified.

"I know," Nami smirked.

Feeling his mood shift, Sanji glared at Zoro. "What'd you tell them?"

A sense of betrayal weighed on his shoulders. He'd just spent the last ten minutes talking about losing Zef only to figure out that he's been talking behind his back. What type of asshole does that to a person when their so far fucked already to even know what's up and down anymore? He probably told them about how them met, didn't he? About how he was crying like a child and then had to help him calm down from a panic attack. He probably thinks he's pathetic trash, doesn't he? Just someone to poke fun of behind his back. He's probably going to recite this sob story to them when they leave and make fun of his suffering, isn't he?

Sanji's saddened heart was not fueled by tears but by anger; though, he didn't have the chance to express how far he was going to kick the shit head across town when Zoro spoke in a rush.

"It was nothing! Nothing! Just that their was a new resident at Franky's place and I happened to know the guy. Nothing more!"

Trying to cool his raging anger, Sanji looked to the girls for confirmation.

Nami crossed her arms with a sly smile, "He told us how you met in the park." She eyed him up and down. "I can see how you two would get along."

The new girl nodded with a giggle. "It's true. Zoro seemed pretty adamant on keeping a lot of info to himself, as well. So don't worry, whatever secrets you told are still safe."

Inwardly, Sanji sighed, all of his rage dying out as he turned back to the food and smiled. Well, at least one thing's for sure: Zoro isn't the 'listen and tell' type of guy. He even lied about how they met.

Oh God, Sanji thought, Life is going to tear him away from me as painfully as possible, isn't it?

"But anyway," the teen said, "I'm Vivi and that's Rika."

Sanji peared over his shoulder to the young girl as she waved and smiled. He smiled and waved back then turned back to the food.

"This should be done in a minute," he said, then frowned. "Though, I didn't realize there'd be two extra guests…"

"Don't bother," Nami said. "The three of us are heading out. Gotta send these two home before the Shrimp's mom thinks she's missing and Vivi's father doesn't know she snuck out to see me. We only swung by cause the kid wanted to see Zoro before we left."

Sanji couldn't help but chuckle. Gangs, Turf Wars, missing children - he's sure found something like no other. Smiling, he said: "I'd be more than happy to make you anything you'd like when you come by again."

"Thanks Sanji," Vivi smiled, and he watched her pick up Rika from the counter and walk to the door.

Nami slipped on a pair of sandals and walked out the door first with a wave.

Vivi turned, "It was nice meeting you, Sanji."

"Likewise,"he called back.

Over her shoulder, Rika waved to Zoro. "See you around, RoRo!"

Robin chuckled at the nickname as Sanji snorted.

"Bye, Squirt," Zoro sighed.

Then, the kitchen was quiet and Sanji felt as though he had stepping into another universe and none of what happened just happened. But then he snorted, "RoRo."

"Shut up," Zoro groaned. "Is the food done yet? It's taking forever."

"Yeah, yeah, ya big lug." Sanji turned off the burner and stepped to the side. "Food's-"

"Wait," Robin whispered, closing her book. "Scoop Chopper's first."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

Compliant, Sanji pulled a separate bowl for Chopper and scooped a proportionate amount. He remembered the cooked bacon to the side and added it in. He had already forgotten Chopper didn't eat meat in the many things that happened all at once, but apart of him since that wasn't the reason why Robin told him to do it.

Placing Chopper's food on the counter, Sanji cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled over the living room XBox. "Chow Time!"

All at once, the tv noise died, the violin upstairs grew silent, but making up for the loss of sound was a loud THUD in the living room before Choppers and Usopp stormed the kitchen and Brook stomped down the stairs. Sanji moved out of the way, even surprised by how fast Zoro and Robin grouped around the stove.

Looking to the smallest of the bunch, Sanji grabbed his portion. "Here, Chopper. The rest has meat in it."

Chopper took it with glee and smiled wide, "Thanks Sanji! You're the best!" And off to the dinning table to went.

Brook followed closely behind, and as he passed Sanji, the cook could hear music blasting from his headphones as he began shoveling food into his mouth even before he sat next to Chopper.

Usopp, Robin, and Zoro were the only ones left at the stove as more strange noises come from the living room.

"Where's Luffy and Franky?" Sanji asked.

"Franky's taking one for the team," Zoro muttered, watching Robin fill two bowls before she walked to the table. He quickly grabbed the spoon before Usopp.

Before he could asked, Usopp turned to him. "Luffy will eat all the food if he gets his hands on it before we do; and even then, he's not afraid to steal from our plates at the table."

There was another crash. Sanji said, "Sounds like he's hungry."

"Luffy's always hungry," Usopp muttered, but his tone changed as he scooped his own food. Solem, maybe.

Sanji walked to the table, ignoring the idea of food and how his stomach yearned for it as he sat next to Brook - hoping his loud music will drown out his own stomach's growls. He caught Zoro's weird glance before he looked to Usopp across the table.

"Does he just never get full?"

The atmosphere grew stiff as all but Brook slowed their chewing. Chopper was the one to speak this time. "No." He sighed. "He has a hard time keeping it down."

The table turned normal again as the living room gave one last CRASH before Luffy ran through and scooped the rest for himself. The was a extra in Luffy's bowl since Nami didn't eat with them and neither did Sanji, but Luffy still looked displeased.

"You guys!" Luffy wined. "You took all of it!"

"What?!" Usopp yelled, "You have more than any of us!"

Luffy took a seat beside him, still pouting. "No I don't."

From the kitchen, Franky finally found his way to the stove. "What! You little shi-" he stopped himself, looking at the table full of kids before his eyes rested on Robin. "He took what was left!"

"I know," she chuckled. "Don't worry, big guy. I saved you some."

Sanji smiled as Franky's face exploded into shimmering joy - leading him to believe that he very rarely gets any food after Luffy's taken his share.

The big man seemed to dance over to Robin's side. "You're just SUPER, my dear!" And he kissed the side of her head before taking his own bowl and sitting beside her.

As they ate, Sanji cause a few weird glances from around the table, probably wondering why he wasn't eating but he just ignored them as he sipped his coffee. He didn't need to eat - just water and now coffee is all he needs. Without Zef, eating what he cooks just isn't the same. He's afraid he'll expect it to taste just like Zef's creations and be even more depressed when they don't. A human being can go three weeks without food. As long as he doesn't eat his own creations, he'll be fine. But, expecting to go out and eat with everyone every other week is irrational. Now that he's here and proved his worth, they'll not want to eat out. Sanji can do without food for a little while, right?

As everyone continued to eat, Brook suddenly stopped, his bowl more than half empty, and looked straight down to Sanji. Without a word, the tall teen shoved his bowl into Sanji's hands.

Everyone's eyes were on him now.

Awkwardly, Sanji laughed, "Oh, I'm fine, Brook. I was eating as I was making it."

He caught the glance between Robin and Zoro as Brook only shoved it into his chest.

"I'm done," he said. There was nothing is his tone. No accusations, no pressure. Just a simple fact that he's done. "I don't want to waste it."

Sanji couldn't sense any emotion coming from him. His eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, his tone never waving, and his limbs never tensing. He was a statue for a moment before he finally stood and nodded to the bowl in Sanji's hands.

He looked to Robin and Franky. "Excuse me," he said then disappeared up stairs. There was a moment a silence and then the soft melody of a violin started again.

Sanji looked around the room, honestly not sure how to react, but they all seemed to be waiting for one. Or, waiting for him to actually eat. He sighed, and stared into the bowl. He cursed his stomach for gnawing at his sides but at least it didn't make a noise.

"Are you really not hungry?" Franky asked.

"No, not really," Sanji shook his head.

Franky sighed, a huff of disappointment as he reached over and grabbed the bowl from him. "Then we'll save it for latter."

"I'll eat it," Luffy muttered through a mouth full.

"No," Robin smiled. "Sanji made it for us. The least we can do is save him some."

Sanji smiled, "Thanks."

After dinner, Sanji stayed in the kitchen doing the dishes as the others watched a movie in the living room but Zoro stayed back to help. Zoro and Sanji stood side by side. One scrubbing while the other dried and there was little to no conversation between them. Only the sound of Brook and his violin filling the vents to take up the space between them.

Then, five plates away from being done, Zoro said: "You didn't eat tonight."

"I'm not hungry."

Instead of taking the plait from Sanji, Zoro's hand found it's way to the other's stomach, but before he could feel it rumble, Sanji swatted it away.

"Don't touch me," he snapped.

"Tell me why."

"I just did, are you deaf or stupid?"

"Why are you lying?"

"I'm not, get out of my space, asshole." Sanji shoved him back with a soapy plate.

Taking it, Zoro began to dry. Then, "Is your head so fucked that you won't even let yourself eat?"

Surprisingly, Franky didn't interrupt, but Sanji didn't think he or anyone could hear them over the loud surround sound.

"Shut up," Sanji growled. "You know nothing."

"No," Zoro put the plate in the rack before turning to Sanji and jabbing his shoulder, making him look at him. "I know a shit ton more than anyone else in this fucking house does, so I'm going to do something about it."

"Why?" Sanji glared, pushing him back. "Am I some charity case to you? A stray dog you can't help but pick up? Something you need to fix before you can move on with your own fucking life? Stay out of my shit, Marimo."

"Listen, Dartboard. I can't worry about two people dickin' around with food-"

"Oh." They both stop and turn to look at Luffy. He was standing before the stairs, ready to climb as he looked at them. His cheeks lifted into a smile as he chuckled, "You guys fight a lot, don't you?"

They took a step back from one another, but Zoro was the one to reply. "Where you going, Luffy?"

"The bathroom."

"Alright." Sanji watched Zoro's jaw tense but then rest of him seemed lax. "Well, don't be too long or you might miss the really cool parts of the movie."

Luffy's smile brightened. "I know. It'll only be a quick piss." And up the stairs he went.

Sanji turned back to the sink. Picking up the last plate and chuckled. "What? You his Mom now?"

"Just… What time is it?"

"Are you blind too, there's a clock right fucking there." Despite his words, Sanji looks to the digital stove. "6:34 A.M. - What? You gonna time his piss?"

"Just shut up and wash the dishes."

Sanji looked up, about to counter attack with another insult when he found the Marimo staring intental at the time, as if he could make it change or speed up.

After ten minutes of Sanji washing and drying the dishes himself and Zoro frozen in place, he finally broke.

"Shit," he growled, turning to the steps. Calling over his shoulder, he pulled Sanji along behind him. "Chopper, he's doing it again!"

Immediately, Chopper responded, "Coming!"

Up the steps they went, Chopper following close behind, neither of them spoke a word and Sanji dared not ask. As they came across the bathroom, Zoro stopped, Pulling Sanji out of the way as Chopper huffed and knocked on the door.

Sanji didn't realize until now what Chopper had brought his blue backpack with him and lazily slung it over his shoulder as he knocked a second time. "Luffy," he said. "It's Chopper. Let me in."

Sanji's heart grew stiff as no reply came and he suddenly grew afraid as his mind raised with the reasons why Luffy wasn't opening the door. But then this creaked open and Sanji couldn't help but peek inside. He really wished he hadn't. Of what he could see, on the floor in front of and on the rim of the toilet was puke. But what was probably most shocking was Luffy's tears streaming down his usually smiling and chipper face. He looked broken and defeated and ashamed. Now, Sanji understood what Chopper was saying during dinner and what Zoro was trying to tell him moments ago. When Chopper slipped inside and the door was closed, Zoro leaned against the wall and slid down, his face in his hands.

Unknowing what to do, Sanji sat beside him and after a moment of silence, he spoke. "... Luffy's bulimic, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Zoro groaned. "But not by choice."

It was quiet again and Sanji didn't know if it was appropriate to ask anything else when Zoro raised his head and banged on the door. "Hey Chopper. Do we need to call Law?"

There was a moment of silence before Chopper answered. "No."

Zoro sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. "That's good."

It was silent once more before Sanji decided to speak. Choosing his words carefully, he said, "Why did you bring me with you."

Zoro closed his eyes and for a moment, Sanji thought his pause meant he wasn't going to answer, but then she sighed again. "Do you know the difference between Robin's and Franky's foster homes are?"

"Yeah… Franky deals with kids who have severe trauma and Robin takes in abandoned kids and kids who are too old to be adopted."

"Well, Luffy didn't always live with Robin and all of us. He used to live here."

Sanji didn't respond.

Zoro continued. "When Luffy was six he had two step brothers, broth from different fathers but they were close. Really close. All three lived with Luffy's grandfather, a man named Garp. This man… This man was not a good caretaker in the slightest. He would starve, beat, and abuse them to the point where eventually Luffy's oldest brother died when he was eight.

"Unfortunately, Garp was apart of the police force and covered up his grandson's death as accidental and went on torturing Luffy and his brother for years. He would throw them out of the house and make them sleep in the rain; drive them out to the middle of nowhere and abandoned them with nothing but the clothes on their backs; he would even have them fight each other and place bets on who would win."

Zoro stopped, taking the time to growl and glare at the floor before he continued. "Then, one day, when Luffy was ten, he was getting a beating - nothing like anything before. It was as though his grandfather wanted to kill him. But then his brother stepped in… He tried his fucking best to get Garp to let up, even stepped between him and Luffy so he could take the rest but… Garp hit the back of his head too hard, cracked his skull wide open with just one punch and he died too…"

Sanji couldn't say anything as Zoro took a shaky breath, too shocked to even think of anything else but what that must've been like.

Zoro spoke again. "Thankfully Garp couldn't cover Ace's death as good as the first and Child Services took Luffy away and placed him here, at Franky's to be looked after. But, with Garp gone and Luffy getting help, he told Child Services and police what Grap had done to both of his brothers and what he was going to do with him.

"Just recently, Luffy was transferred into Robin's care, but just because someone can move out of Franky's house doesn't mean everything's okay again. Luffy will never be the same - his PTSD won't allow him - but that doesn't mean he's stuck in the past. It may not seem like it right now, certainly not while he's throwing up just remembering what he's gone through, but he's getting better."

Zoro looked at Sanji and the cook hadn't realized he was tearing up until he realize he couldn't see Zoro's solemn face clearly.

"I brought you up here to witness and tell you this because you need to know that it is possible to move on and get better. You just have to give it a try."

The bathroom door opened and out walked Chopper and Luffy. Sanji was quick to wipe his defiant tears but he was shocked yet again when he found Luffy smiling and laughing as if nothing way wrong to begin with.

How can he do that?

"I'm tired," Luffy chuckled, his breath minty from vigorous brushing.

"Yeah," Zoro smirked, standing alongside Sanji he stepped up to Luffy. He wrapped his arm around the shorter boy's shoulders and led him down stairs. "Let's go take a nap until noon."

Sanji peaked inside the bathroom again, not surprised it had been scrubbed cleaned and smelled of bleach.

"Come on, Sanji," Chopper sighed, trying to sound happy. "Let's go downstairs and say goodbye."

When Robin, Luffy, and Zoro left everyone else went their separate ways. Franky went into his workshop, Brook was already in his room, and Chopper and Usopp were back on the couch, playing more XBox. As for Sanji, he sat in the kitchen, listening to Zef's voicemail over and over and over again - trying not try sob so loud. Now that Sanji heard Luffy's trauma he couldn't stop himself from thinking about who selfish he's been. Sure, Luffy is really fucking good at hiding his pain, but he still feels it. And in comes Sanji showing every ounce of his torment to him, adding even more to the small teen's cargo.

If he's going to be apart of Luffy's gang to save the Baratie, he needs to get the fuck over himself and shape up. After all, Usopp, Chopper, and Brook are still here - the trauma house - but they don't show their weaknesses, hell, all Sanji has ever seen from them is joy (Brook is a special exception).

Making up his mind, Sanji stood from his seat at the counter and walked to the fridge. He flung it open and glared at the leftover bowl of food Brook left for him. His stomach turned and took control of his hand. Depression tried to stop him, whisper thing is his ear about his cooking not being Zef's but to hell with it!

If his sadness affects his new friends this much, he'll cook and eat just to make them feel lighter in seeing him improve.

Removing the plastic wrap, Sanji didn't care about microwaving it as he took his first bit, then his second, and his third - until he could no longer hear Depression in the back of his mind or his stomach's pleads to be fed.

"Uh."

Sanji froze mid bite. He looked up to find Usopp and Chopper standing there, probably here to get a drink from the fridge.

"The silverware in is that drawer if you want," Usopp said.

Chopper tried to hide his giggle.

Sanji straightened, pulling his hand from his mouth and swallowed. He chuckled, lifting the heavy atmosphere instantly. "Too late for that I guess."

When they grabbed their drinks, they sat beside him, keeping him company. Chopper smiled. "Happy to see you eating, Sanji."

"So I guess you weren't really hungry then, huh?" Usopp laughed, watching him scoop another bit into his hand and then his mouth.

Sanji chewed, then swallowed. "No." He smiled. "I just thought this was a meal meant for lunch instead."

I'll get better, Sanji thought, So I don't have to see them in pain.


	11. Part: 11

Sanji talked with Usopp and Chopper for a while. He didn't tell then what he told Zoro, but he talked about Zef. He told them stories about his first dishes for the three daily meals; and how he was rough, angry, and very guarded, but didn't hold anything against him; and when he was little he taught him that girls aren't just figures and objects to manipulate but creators of life. That they feel the pain of their children, their soulmate, and their own; they should be cherished - each treated like a knight would treat his Queen. Zef taught him woman are valuable and irreplaceable but undeserving of being locked and guarded in a high tower. That was probably the best lesson he was ever got from the old man.

There wasn't anything he wouldn't give to hear the wisdom of his father again.

"He sounds like a great man," Chopper smiled. He was obviously about to cry with his shaky smile.

"Yeah," Usopp nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not going to say it's fine," Sanji sighed, "because it's not. I miss him."

The room fell silent as Sanji pushed away his empty bowl. Then: "I miss my dad, too," Chopper looked to his hands. "He was a doctor. Really nice. He took me in just like your dad when I was left in a hospital up in Drum City. My parents couldn't afford the hospital bills."

Sanji didn't know what to say. How could such a young, sweet boy be abandoned? Chopper's full of life and love and forgiveness. The way he cared for Luffy, it's obvious. Sanji can't put his finger on why the he hasn't moved into Robin's home yet because he seems so… put together.

"We fought a little when he took me in," - a faint smile pulled at his lips - "he even kicked me out once but immediately came running after me.

"Then he grew sick, coughed a lot, grew dizzy easily, and couldn't walk he was so weak. He's the reason I got into medicine was so I can take care of him, but it went wrong." He started tearing up, his nose turning a dark blue isn purple, something Sanji's never seen before. "So wrong. All wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!"

Tears leaked and his blue nose ran snot down his lip. Usopp rubbed his back, he didn't say anything and just let him cry. Sanji wondered if this was the reason why he was still here - he hasn't gotten over it yet.

Chopper lifted his heach from his hands fast, looking Sanji straight in the eyes. "And you know what I did? You know how I repaid him for everything he's done for me? I killed him. I killed him and can't ever get him back."

Sanji sat shocked, unable to tear his eyes away.

"It wasn't your fault," Usopp whispered.

"I gave him the wrong shot!"

"It was a split decision."

"I should've called a real doctor. I should've - I should've…"

He couldn't talk, he wouldn't let himself. His hand cover his mouth and the other clenched into a shaky fist. He was hurting. Hurting so bad he stood up and walked into the living room without anything but sniffling here and there. Sanji heard the paused game in the other room start up again and vage humming.

"Should we…"

"No. Just let him be for a little while."

"I didn't mean to upset him."

"He'll be fine in a few minutes. This happens often."

"Often? - Sorry. I shouldn't ask."

"Nah," Usopp waved his hand. "You're probably wondering why he's here. Obviously he's still upset but then again, we all are still are. Even Robin's kids. He has night terrors about it though. Screams and kicks and grinds his teeth and when he's awake his sometimes black out and have fits of rage. He kinda turns into the Hulk when that happens," he smiled, "But he shares a room with Brook. The music calms him down."

Sanji stared wide eyed. He would've never guess how similar the kid and him are and how different they cope with their problems.

Selfishness punched his rib cage and Guilt held him there.

 _You're making his life worse_. Guilt whispered in his ear, its breath hot like lava and melted his brain.

 _You went around peraiding Despair like a show pony and now look what you've done. You made the poor boy cry, you made him remember, and you still want to know more about him. How dare you._ Selfishness punched him in the chest once more. He could feel the brussing already. How much more can his body take before his ribs pierced his heart and lungs? He felt like screaming through their repeating negativity. His good mood gone altogether and he felt like throwing up.

He did this. It's his fault again.

"You okay?"

Sanji snapped from his thoughts. "What?"

"You zoned out for a minute. Something wrong with your chest?"

He felt his fist over his heart and let it go. He's got to stop doing that. "No."

"Does it hurt?"

"If fine."

"Should I get Frankie?"

"I said I'm fine."

Usopp sat silent. Squinting. Can he see the apparitions standing behind him, just watching? No. He can't. They're only here for him, no one else. Hopefully no one else. A sudden wave of tiredness crashed through his entire body as Depression laid a hand on his shoulder and Guild on the other. Here he goes again, feeling sorry for himself.

"Want to do something fun?" Usopp asked.

Sanji cleared his throat and leaned forward. He rubbed his eyes. "I'm tired. I think I might head up."

"Come on, man. It's summer. It's nice outside."

Depression's grip tightened. _No. I want to sleep. Let's go up, let me hold you, let me comfort you. Let's sleep together. Let's make love all afternoon and all night and all day tomorrow. I can feel you yearning for me._

He didn't want to be alone with it but it wasn't lying, he didn't want it but he needed to wallow, he needed to be left alone and drown in Life's waves for making Chopper cry. And, apart of him needed to see another hallucination of a happier time with Zef when he was still a boy. He needed to remember even with the cost of pain and self loathing. Or maybe that was just Depression putting the need there.

Across from his, Usopp stood and grabbed Sanji's arm. When he stood too, his legs shook and his knees almost buckled. He felt so heavy, he just wanted to sleep.

"Second time you've zone out, my dude. We're doing something."

He threw another light bulb. Sanji whiffed it and it fell to the grass. He tossed it back but it went straight down and shattered in the dirt.

"Sorry."

"Eh. We got more."

The baseball field was full of weeds, overgrown grass, and rusted fences; and now, shattered glass.

He threw another one. Sanji hit it just over Usopp's head and it shattered in the gravelly dirt.

After Usopp forced him out of the house, they rode on his pizza moder bike to the Quick Stop gas station store down the road and picked up two packs of 12 pack light bulbs and a few cans of spray paint at the close by craft store. They defaced the interior of an evicted abandoned house, other works also painted but they found space to do whatever with. Usopp sprayed the Straw Hat endlum and Sanji sprayed a topless mermaid. It wasn't bad, but not as good and Usopp's skull and crossbones. Now they made use of the bulbs.

"Where'd you get the bat?" Sanji asked, hitting another one into left field.

"Zoro has a ton of em. He's a baseball player."

"I didn't know that."

"You learn something new every day. Switch."

They switched batting and pitching.

Sanji's first pitch was no good. "What's his position?"

"He plays anywhere the coaches want him, really. He's that type of dude."

"I see." Sanji threw another terrible pitch over Usopp's head. "And I'm terrible at this."

"It's all in the wrist. Think you'll get it down the next time?"

"No."

"Then here."

Sanji handed over the pack of bulbs and stood behind Usopp. He watched the other through one into the air and hit it, shattering instantly on contact. Sanji stayed silent, watching his do it again.

"So," Usopp said. "What happened in the kitchen?"

Playing it off, Sanji said, "Just stuff in my head. You know, the real good stuff."

Usopp laughed and hit another bulb. "I get ya." He hit another one, then: "Do you… know don't get offended, but do you hear things, Sanji?"

He froze for a second, then scoffed. "I _am_ offended."

"You just zone out a lot and move your lips without making a sound like you're responding to a thought in your head. I'm not judging you, and I certainly am not a hypocrite. When I first lost my mom I could hear her voice everywhere I went. Do this, do that, watch out, don't move, go back to bed. I was depressed because I couldn't feel her with me like a ghost but by God could I hear her always in the back of my mind."

Sanji stopped listening after the mom sentence and couldn't help himself. "You lost your mother?"

The bulb fell to the dirt, shattering, and Usopp turned. "Worst day of my life. Hole town got sick and I got hulled away in a truck with other survivors. Never got to say goodbye to my mom but I was there to watch my girlfriend shoot herself in the head the day before government help can. She pregnant, infected, and just couldn't bring herself to a baby that would get sick immediately."

He turned and threw another bulb, smashing it harder than the other ones before. "I was going to be a father." He threw and smashed another. "I was going to be a husband." And another. "I was going to be with her forever." He dropped the bat and rolled up his sleeves, and that's when Sanji saw them, new and old scars. Some even bled now.

Usopp seemed to ignore Sanji's stare and put his hands on his overall hips. Smiling. "But now I'm with Kaya. She is the definition of beautiful and kind. You'll have to meet her some day." He looked down at all the broken glass at his feet and took a deep breath. "Feel better?"

"I can't deny I do." Sanji chuckled. "Thanks Usopp."

"Don't sweat it. Let's go."

Usopp picked up the bat and they started walking.

"HEY!"

A rock was thrown at the back of Sanji's head. He muttered an "ouch" then turned around along with Usopp.

Two men stood across the field wearing all black, holding bats of their own. One was rounder than the lengthy other but both around the same height. Sanji was just able to see a jolly roger tattoo on their under right arms.

One pointed his bat at Usopp. "I know you. You're with that dumb Straw Hat crew. What the fuck are you doing over on our side?"

"This isn't anyone's side, ass holes," Usopp's voice was strong but Sanji could feel how nervous he was beside him.

Sanji felt this need to protect the Usopp. He was now apart of the crew as Luffy calls it - it's time to prove himself.

"I don't see your tag anywhere around here," Sanji said. "This isn't yours."

"And who are you? The new pretty boy of the group? I bet I can kick your ass!"

"I ain't got shit!"

Usopp stepped closer, "Sanji, what are you doing? You're just going to get them mad."

"We can take them."

"I don't have my gun on me."

He froze at that. "You have a fucking gun?"

Usopp shrugged.

"Alright Princesses, since I'm feeling generous today, when I get to three you better be out of sight because this turf is mine now."

Is this a Turf War all of a sudden?

"One."

"Come on, Sanji. It's not worth it."

"Two."

"No. I'm not going to be told what to do."

Doubt held his hand but so did Depression, and Anxiety, and Rage. He wanted to kick them in the face, he needed to.

"Three!"

All but Usopp charged.


	12. Part: 12

Charging, Sanji came face to face with the lengthy one. He searched him, watching for hints, ticks, tense muscles - he watched his feet part, one behind the other and his weight shift. He bent backward, watching the bat swing over him with fierce velocity. This man meant to kill him.

Sanji shift all his weight onto one foot, lifted the other, and kicked him square in the chest. He sent him flying into the rust fence that broke and crashed into pine needles bleachers.

He heard the other's steps before he saw him and jumped back. He avoided a downward bat swing but he couldn't get back far enough. The tip of the bat collided with his knee sending painful vibrations down his bones and through his toes.

He winced when he set it down but he can deal with the pain if he doesn't straighten his leg.

He let the guy come to him, the bat raised again, ready to strike him down and potentially kill him. This is the moment he realized he had an easy out. If he were to just stay in place, not fight back and just let the bat have at him, he could escape. He could leave early. Life is giving him an out. Finally the pain could be over, he'd see Zef again, and his memories erased.

He stayed in place, watched Death check it watch on the bleachers. Its misty figure stalking closer and closer, Depression standing right beside him, shaking his hand now, signing a deed to his life now.

He could just stand there.

"Sanji! Move!"

He didn't want to. He really didn't want to, but he did - but it was too late.

CRACK

The bat collided with his brow at an angle and broke flesh. Immediately blood started to pour down his face and especially into his eye. His left eye had a film of red while the other took a moment to adjust. He wouldn't be surprised if he had a concussion but there was no time to debate. The guy was coming at him again with a back hand swing and he swatted down to avoid his ribs being caved in. From there, he swept his legs out from under him, and could hear Usopp cheering him on. He found a new type of excitement in his chest - not the willingness to died, but to live. He wanted to be alive. He want to stay with Usopp and make sure he got home safe, he wanted to apologize to Chopper, gawk at Nami, rely on Frankie and Robin, listen to Brook's music, keep Luffy's trust, and fucking see Zoro again. I wants to see him again, walk beside him again, argue, fight, talk, anything to keep his attention. Being dead gets people forgotten, he doesn't want Zoro to forget him. He wants to wash the dishes together, scream into the sunset, and hold each other to Hell and back.

He wants him, needs him, but right now, Usopp is counting on him to keep his own life safe. What trust he doesn't deserve but will never tarnish.

The crunch of glass caught him off guard but it wasn't a threat. The guy had landed in a pile of shattered glass and wasn't moving.

Sanji stood and checked his pulse. Just unconscious. Probably hit his head on the way down.

He limped towards Usopp who was babbling on about how awesome he was.

"Thanks. But we should call 911. Can't leave these guys here."

"Good point."

And they called 911 from Usopp's phone.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Ask one more time and I will kick you."

"It looks like it hurts."

"Doesn't."

"It's all swollen."

"It's healing."

"No, it's broken."

"Just shut up." Sanji wobbled, Usopp put his hands out, but he caught himself.

"I won't ask but… ya know."

"Dammit all to Hell, just take me to Robin's house if you're that worried. It's close, isn't it."

"You are bleeding a lot still. Ruining your shirt. You look like a dead man walking."

"Gee, thanks."

By motorcycle, Sanji and Ussop drove to Robin's Nest. It definitely wasn't as big as the Franky Family mansion, in fact it looked like a small countryside cottage misplaced in the city of Ohara - the University town of Seven Spout. Robin's little cottage was surrounded by college frat houses - yards filled with lawn chairs and red plastic cups - and local restaurants.

Her little house was made of wood paneling, a flat roof, and a wrap around porch filled with different types of flowers - he could hardly see the front door. There was a large front window beside the door and he could see even more plants on the inside. This doesn't look like a place the masculine Zoro would live. It make Sanji chuckled.

Walking up the porch steps did require Usopp's help but neither cared to tease or mutter a thanks. Sanji had too much pride and Usopp knew the price he'd receive afterwards. They opened the screen door, it's springs groaned, and before they could nock, the door swung open. Robin stood there in black leggings and a white turtleneck, holding a book like normal, but her smile fell when she saw the blood.

"Come in. Come in," she stepped aside, and shut the door behind them. She lead them to a table next to the kitchen - the dining table Sanji guessed - and put down her book.

"Stay," she said then disappeared down the hall.

Sanji looked around now, seeing foliage everywhere. A full wall in the living room was dedicated to wood panels making a sturdy web that supported various vine type plants that intertwined themselves into the wood. Some vines even made it to the ceiling, dug into the plaster, and hanged down in loose spirals. The overall layout of the house had an open floor plan. The front door in the living room, a sunroom to the opposite side, a kitchen behind the living room separated by a bar. Dining room, then a long hall with four doors. More of the wooden web extended down the ceiling of the hallway - sourwood flowers hanging at various length. These flowers were bell shaped, pure white and angelic. Some glowed gold from the warm lit light bulbs twined with them.

Robin reappeared with a med kit. "This is quite the surprise visit." She sat down in front of Sanji and opened the tin case.

"Trust me," Sanji sighed. "It was a surprise to us too."

She started wiping some of the blood from Sanji's face with a washcloth. Didn't matter the color it once was, it was red now.

Robin smiled. "Oh this one's just a bleeder. Just a little cut, really." She dabbed it with a disinfectant cotton ball. Sanji winced.

"One of you going to tell me what happened?"

"Ok so," Usopp sat up, "there were these two guys at the baseball field and they started beating on Sanji. But I was there, kicked their asses, and saved the day. I knocked them out cold, Robin. Out. Cold."

Sanji snorted, then winced again with another swipe from the swab.

"So two dudes tried to jump you and Sanji saved you both."

"Hey!"

Even the bandaid she stuck on stung.

Next was his knee, and all she asked for was for him to rise and bend it back. That was fine. Not broken or torn. But it was still swollen and she guessed the bone was bruised.

"Try ice." Robin tapped her chin.

"Thank you, doctor," Sanji chuckled.

She smiled, retrieved her book then gluided towards the sunroom.

Sitting there, Sanji looked around some more, familiarizing himself with the new surroundings. The air was crisp yet warm, like a cool summer breeze but with spring's scent and refreshing rebirth. But what really made it all the better was the lack of Death and his impressions. A considerably lesser lack thereof.

From his position in the dining room, he could see into the living room, over the couch and to the tv, but what was on the television wasn't what caught his attention. It was the familiar blue hair of "Princess" Vivi swaying over the side of the couch arm. He could barely see the hint of bright red - orange hair intertwined with it. Must be Nami, too.

"They're sleeping. Saw them on the way in."

Sanji turned to Usopp. He didn't realize his awking was that obvious. He looked the other way, then: "I like it here."

"Yeah," Usopp smiled, looking around too, "This place is definitely just like an exotic forest. A walk in garden within itself."

They spent another moment just appreciating their surroundings.

"His room's the second on the right."

"What?" Sanji turned. Where'd this come from?

"Zoro's room. Second to the right. I think he's at practice right now if you want to go check it out."

"Why would I want to?"

"You guys," Usopp hesitated, then: "I thought you two were a thing."

Sanji gaped at the long nose. "What?" He had half the mind to stand, but he knew he's fall. Instead, he leaned as far back in his chair as he could. "That Marimo?!"

Usopp stood, backing again with raised hands. "Nevermind, my bad. Just thought, ya know."

"Well stop thinking!" He was blushing, he could feel it on his cheeks, forehead and down his neck.

"Okay. Okay," Usopp shrugged. He backed towards the front door. Standing beside it, he said, "I'm going to get Chopper to take a closer look at your knee. Shouldn't talk long."

Sanji watched the door swing open, heard the screen door creak, and without shutting the front door, the screen slammed closed.

But the silence was filled, not with tv garble or the slight breeze outside, instead it was the rattle of pipes and the ringing of a shower curtain closing. Peering down the hall, he assumed it to be Luffy, having quietly snuck across the hall and into the bathroom to shower, since Nami and Robin were here and Zoro was out. Looking down the hall made him curious. Curious about what else Zoro keeps in his room aside from bats. Slowly, carefully, he stood from his chair and planted his feet with extra care. He could walk in. He could check every room to see if it's his. He could stand there, bask in the essence of Zoro's room. He could look through his drawers, shuffle through until he finds something revilationary.

But he turned the other direction and into the sunroom.

He hobbled quietly around the couch and couldn't help but sneak a peek at the girls sleeping. Vivi backed into couch cushions, and Nami clinging onto her as to not fall off the other side almost made his heart jump. Not in the sense that he wanted each of his arms around them, but with the immediate knowledge they were going to last a long time. A long time. He accepted their love for each other and, in that moment, all the more happiness.

It felt as though, with just that single thought, he had given up all his own golden glow to the two before him. But he didn't regret it. He'd be happy to deal with their pain to help their relationship move along.

His heart ached. He found his hand fisted over his beating chest again. How easy it was to regain this feeling make him chuckle through the pain. This sensation will always be with him, won't it? Always waiting, lurking in the shadows for the right time to strike.

The pain grew with each envious gaze at the girls. He wanted someone to care as much they they do for eachother. He wanted someone to hold on to, to wake him up when he is having a bad dream, to calm him when dreams turn into daytime nightmares. He wanted it so bad, even Loneliness hugged him from behind. He could feel its translucent touch pressed against his back and wrapped around his hips. But it was not good at comforting, it was only a reminder of how truly alone he felt even surrounded by Alice's Wonderland.

He turned away from the arche ways of the sunroom, scared of what else he'll be greeted by while he's lost in the throws of nature, and wondered back to the dining room. But instead of sitting, he kept walking. Down the hall, passed the room with the shower still running, and knocked on the door second to the right. Zoro's room held no answer in reply.

He pushed his way through.

It was a standard ten by ten room with a desk and a bed but filled floor to ceiling with band posters on three of the four walls. Only the two windows weren't covered and even that was to an extent with the blinds blocking all the sunlight. He could point out Metallica, Nirvana, AC DC, and The Rolling Stones. The rest he had no clue, but his attention was diverted to the fourth wall

That his bed was backed against. Pictures. At least a hundred photos - some of Zoro, others of everyone's posed smiles, but most of them were candid shots of people Sanji met like Luffy and Nami, and others he's never seen before. Some photos over lapped others, heavy layers of tape here and there, but Sanji didn't mind the messy organization. How could he when he found the small section of Zoro as a small child? Zoro had spiky green hair even as a child, but longer than his crew cut now.

There were pictures of him riding a bike for the first time with a young twenty year old Franky pushing behind him. Then another at a t-ball game. And another with Robin teaching him how to read. There was even one of him picking his nose with Luffy doing the same. And though all these photos looking happy, there were none of the life Zoro must've had before getting to this point. There was a photo of a man with gold ringed eyes in a police suit standing beside a young girl with pink pigtails. They held some familiar features like their strong jaw and sharp cut cheekbones but not enough to be called father and son.

This wall almost proved Zoro had no childhood before coming into Robin's and Frankie's care.

Sanji sat on the bed now, still gaping up at all the photos, but the more he looked the more he found Depression in each picture Zoro appeared in. It made the photos a little more gray with it just standing off to the corner or over Zoro's shoulder. Sanji wanted to rip each tainted photo off the wall, spare Zoro of seeing his own pain anymore. But maybe this was just him, just his eyes able to see the dreaded truth.

Through the wall, Sani could hear the shower turn off and the shower curtain clater open. He paid no mind to Luffy's shuffling until the door opened and in walked Zoro wearing only a towel.

"Shit!" Zoro growled, gripping the hem of his towel closer to his body.

Sanji stiffened and scramble off the bed. "Yeah, shit! You scared the shit out of me!"

"I should be the one saying that! What the hell are you doing here?"

His heart pinged with Rejection's rough hand on his shoulder, pulling him back a step.

Of course. How could he have not seen it sooner? Of course he's not welcome here, either.

"Sorry," Sanji muttered, "I'll get out of your way." He heart ached like no other. His fist clenched over a tight chest, but before he could step around Zoro, the other reached his arm out, placed his hand on top of Rejection's and singed its hand away.

"You know I didn't mean it like that." His voice was deep but whisperish with acceptance that made Sanji's heart jump the good way.

"Stay."


End file.
